Ego and Me, to Be or To Be Not Is that a Question?
Ego and Me, to Be or To Be Not Is that a Question?
An Exploration of Yes, No or Maybe, the Darkness Around us is Deep*
A Beautiful Sunday Afternoon, Egoistic or Not, Sitting Beneath a Large Pine Tree In Dappled Sun . Where am I? Who am I?
‘You teach many things, some that are a little wrong and they don’t hurt people. There is one thing you teach though that will hurt, and so we would like to correct you.’ The voice of the guide spoke evenly, calmly through the vocal apparatus of my new friend.
‘Okay,’ I replied, curious what the guide would correct. I saw the tiny trace of egoistic perfectionism anxiety, saw it as Gautama Buddha suggests to see it with calmness and clarity. And with calm awareness the trace of anxiety dissipated into the nothingness from whence it came.
‘You said that the ego has to exist. It does not.’
‘Thank you,’ I replied. And I admit to being a little surprised at that, although I didn’t elaborate at the time. Instead I stayed respectfully receptive of guided knowledge.
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They presented me with other ideas, all good. This ego thing caught me by surprise, though. When I had thought and talked about the ego I thought I was on pretty firm ground. Lol! As I write that, I realise that that is my ego mis-remembering things. What is closer to reality is that I haven’t talked about the ego at all! Well, not that I remember, actually. In recent years I have received knowledge about it as a natural and perhaps even required adjunct to successfully navigate the world.
After all, much of the mainstream pop psychology talks about the ‘need’ for a strong ego to be developed with childhood. That psychology was my experience in life! I watched my war-traumatised father fail to navigate well with his traumatised and sociopathic/narcissistic wife despite a huge intelligence.
And when I ‘escaped’ the grips of the maternal narcissist’s and dysfunctional family created co-dependency with a clean enough, long enough break I realised that to a large extent I had been a trapped victim in life because I didn’t have something, a strong enough ego, to mediate the experience of life effectively. My narcissistic parent had taken from me all structure of an affirming ego by replacing it with a condemning one.
What follows is an exploration of ‘ego’. It is unlikely to be an answer.
The ‘ego is not needed’ correction was given about a week ago, and since then I’ve been poking around this idea of the ego: what, where, when, why, who? Maybe ‘How’ too. It has taken me a while to understand that I had conflated some ideas. And I also realised that some few years ago I had unconsciously tossed overboard the (false) spiritual purity-demands for ego genocide as another delusion best gotten rid of with the unwanted bilge water of other childhood traumatising habits of mind and body. With that the ego became simply a part of being human, neither good nor bad, like a toenail or snot.
And, as if on cue, another synchronicity with this exploration. While looking for something else I found: ‘If you get rid of the pain [in the ass] before you have answered its questions, you get rid of the self along with it.’ –Carl Jung [Really? Did Jung mean ego-self? Or was that a poor translation from the German?] Cited at Contextual-Conceptual Therapy: Guiding The Suicidal Person Using Maps, Models, & Metaphors
‘Has To’ Reality, Really?
And when my friend’s guide attributed to me having said ‘has to’ I didn’t notice that I wouldn’t have used ‘has to’ (or ‘have to’) because I’ve successfully purged that verb from my vocabulary. Well, I think I have and soon after Yoshiko and I met she spent many months fruitlessly listening for me to utter, hypocritically, the words ‘have to’. In five years, she hasn’t called me out on it.
In this case, though, I may not have noticed the guides’ use of that bully language until now because, perhaps in large part, I have (had?) accepted the presence of the ego as a natural extension or development of the personality-complex housed in a somatic body in order to facilitate its interfaces with physical life. Hmmmm. Earlier that morning I certainly discussed how the ego is the means by which we get around and, by implication at the very least, created a ‘have to’ structure around the idea of the ego’s presence! Wonderful and so funny and revealing. Another great and subtle lesson for me about how even the presence of bully ideology can be present without language. (I’ll look more deeply into that. Thank you, guides.)
And furthermore, why did I have the idea of ego as concomitant with the physical expression of an infinite being? That turned out to be a somewhat convoluted and edifying exploration for me. And more opportunity to let go, á là aperigraha, of unconscious mind/brain habits/scars (yogic samskaras) while writing this.
Asmita and a Short Channel History
Now is a good time to introduce to you our ‘friend’ asmita, the yogic idea of the stories and the story maker of ‘I’, ‘Me’, ‘Mine.’ Asmita creates our stories and is that which attaches them to the ephemeral with the mistaken belief that they are permanent, or true, or that somehow by bootstrap magic they can be made permanent or true. And since the ego is not the grounded Self (see synchronicity § below) that is alive in this body at this moment in space-time it is intrinsically unstable and seeks approval in order to shore itself up. I recognise that that was what I had felt come up, a little, when the friend’s guides asked to speak to me: guides wanting to talk to ‘lil tiny me’ took ego-me back to my teenage days when I was drowned in my own totally emasculated insecurity and was desperately seeking any Susan’s approval from everyone and everything but myself. And that included the unstable psychics and their guides who surrounded the family at that time in their search for peace and equanimity.
§ synchronicity
As I was working through these discoveries, I had another synchronicity this morning when by random I listened to Buddhist-Yogi Michael Stone describe how Gautama Buddha’s enlightenment was with the earth, the ground, which Gautama claims that most people are unable to comprehend.
Stone: There is another version [of Gautama Buddha’s awakening] in the [Pali] canon, which is the one most traditions don’t read. Which is in the first person, which is really interesting. And it is the Buddha weeks after his awakening describing what happened. And his description of his awakening is that what he woke up to is quiet and deep and, I’m paraphrasing, but it is difficult for people to wake to the ground. So he describes what he woke up to is not like this [hand gesture up] but is actually the ground, of reality. Then he says the reason why it is difficult for people to wake up to the ground is because they love, delight and revel in their viewpoint. And then he says noticing this goes against the stream. … Being able to wake up to the ground goes against the stream. Which a lot of academics say was his critique of religion. Because mostly we think of enlightenment as like this [hand gesture] and the Buddha is saying actually to really be awake is to actually be in touch with the ground. … A lot of the statues of the Buddha in his awakening he is pointing to the ground. He is not pointing up. –Michael Stone ~43:00min
Interesting to think that even as that psychic craziness was happening in my youth there was a single book that I know stopped me from actually imploding totally and perhaps even killing myself. And that was a ‘channeled’ book called The Nature of Personal Reality: A Seth Book by Jane Roberts.
Back to asmita.
It is a Sanskrit term, often translated as "egoism”. According to Yoga philosophy, asmita is the second of the five kleshas, otherwise known as obstacles or veils which hide from us the true Self of who we really are. Asmita refers specifically to the attachment to [the] ego and its interpretation of reality, manifesting as the erroneous belief that the immediate experience of the [ego-]self [or perhaps persona] is the true Self. This leads to a false identity, in which self-image is defined by the roles, positions and possessions one attains in life [as perceived by the ego]. (My emphasis). –Asmita Definition
‘I’, ‘Me’, ‘Mine’ Stories, My Ego And Me
A large part of my youthful emasculated insecurity had been inculcated with the so-called anti-patriarchal / pro-matriarchal New Age woo-woo liberal free sex craziness of my parents. A big part of their ungrounded psychobabble was the poorly and hurtfully understood concept that the ego is perhaps the source of all misery and suffering and requires extirpation. And annihilation at the same time, of course, if possible. May you rest in peace, God speed because no mercy is to be shown this poor weak childlike manifestation within me that has the power to destroy both my life and psychology.
This was, at the time, one of those obviously true ideas that, with hindsight, is laughable. And yet it had become for many years an unquestioned and unquestionable core belief, hence invisible. Ego bad, good-bye ego, so-long and good riddance to bad rubbish. (Curiosity pique: something to explore in the future is to what extent the MK-Ultra infiltration of the New Age structures and ideologies knowingly propagated the ego-bad idea to help create malleable servants. 😉 For another day.)
I don’t think that Seth bad-mouthed the ego, although I don’t clearly remember.
Moving from Seth, my journey out of childhood into adulthood took me to the psychology of C.G. Jung where what was required in his model of being a ’properly’ adult human was individuation. Now with eyes to see I see that that is really an interesting re-spelling of yoga, both referring to integration or oneness of the various psychic complexes or energies we developed to survive childhood and our youth. With Jung the ‘ego-bad’ ideology was just another false-truth to be let go, and the ego ‘integrated’ and hence gone by dissolution or merging into the true Self.
Much later, in my mid-fifties, I learned that ‘ego-bad’ was not quite what Patañjali wrote. In Sanskrit he wrote “Drgdarsana saktyoh” that is variously translated as something like: ‘False-identification is to confuse the nature of the seer or Self with the nature of the instrument of perception. In other words, false identification happens when we mistake the mind, body, or senses for the true Self’. My rephrase: it’s not ‘ego-bad’, it is improper identification with the ego and its perceptions that creates suffering. –II.6 from The Yoga Sutras by Patañjali.
It is interesting that Patañjali observes that even wise (enlightened?) humans will on occasion experience fear of death because of the depth of the spirit’s connection to somatic reality: “Fear of death carries its own essence and predominates [the consciousness of] even the wise.” Is this ‘ego’? Is this simply a consciousness of the body? Patañjali doesn’t say. –Yoga Sutra 2.9. And of course Christ may have experienced that too, when he called out to God for succour.
Michael Stone adds that it isn’t the fear of death per se that is the ‘real’ fear, it is the fear of the cessation of the story of ‘I’, ‘Me’ and ‘Mine’.
Where is God? Children As Alien
Natural light photographer Nan Goldin has often referred to children as aliens who possess a unique wisdom and second sight. … [S]he has said that children are born with a consciousness of another existence. But as they grow they forget it, adapting more and more to the expectations of the adult sphere. In other words, acquiring knowledge means forgetting. –Guido Costa “Why Nan Goldin Focused On Children”
“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became an adult, I put away childish things.” –The Bible I Corinthians 13:11.
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In our evolution of consciousness our culture has decided that ideas of God are in the realm of childish things. And that does highlight that Life does have a sense of humour: when we decide to move out of adulthood suffering and misery we go full circle, as described by the Zen 10 Oxherding Pictures and perhaps with lots of Jungian and/or Yoga therapy, back to the innocence of a four year old to re-remember God. Yoshiko has commented that people who achieve this are often filled with childlike joy in their physical presence and have eyes that shine even brighter than children’s eyes.
The End Result is No Ego
Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche: On the basic Buddhist level, the result of these four mindfulnesses [practices] is the realisation or actualisation of the [Fourfold Path aka the Four Noble Truths]. Through the mindfulness of body and the mindfulness of feeling, we come to the realisation of the truths of suffering and the causes of suffering. With the mindfulness of mind, we come to the realisation of the truth of cessation, of completely being freed. And the fourth mindfulness, the mindfulness of phenomena, brings us to the realisation of the path that leads to cessation. If we understand the interdependent nature of all phenomena, if we can relate with all phenomena as emptiness, then that is the path leading us to the result of nirvana, or cessation.
From the Mahayana point of view, the result of these four mindfulnesses is the realisation of twofold egolessness – the egolessness of self and the egolessness of phenomena. That is essentially what mindfulness is all about (p243 my emphasis). –The Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche “The Infinite Dot Called Mind” from The Best of Buddhist Writing 2005.
Confirmation of the Ego-Child and Its Dethronement
In January 2014 I discovered asana (posture) yoga and my life changed. In August 2014 in a five day ‘course’ I discovered the ‘real’ yoga beyond asana, that of Patañjali with breath (pranayama), meditation, and the ethics of yoga (Yamas and Niyamas). And with that came my introduction to yogic psychology. In a nicely done exercise I learned that among other things the ego is a ’thing’ inside me that was a scared child, afraid of standing out and being mocked for being foolish (see synchronicity§). That was interesting how clear that was and that now I had the option and ability to see it and to stop being a victim of the ego-child as alien. Now that alien was within me, and not me.
§ synchronicity
As I was writing this YouTube insisted that I watch a video. I ignored its suggestion for many days, expecting the suggestion to disappear as most do. (I rarely follow a suggestion, although often enough for YouTube to have profiled me in some way.) Anyway, here is ‘The Psychology of the Fool’:
“The fool is one of the most relatable, intriguing and recurring figures in the world. There have been fools who have caused surprise and laughter since time immemorial. We worship folly by seeing it in people and in the world and by willingly displaying it in ourselves. It is one of the timeless archetypes, which we all inherit at birth. Many of us suffer from the absence of the fool in our lives. Frenetic and upright, we take ourselves too seriously. As William Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” Forgetting that playfulness is a basic human need, we wonder why we so easily become bored and exhausted, losing all capacity for spontaneity, authenticity, and passion. The antidote to this would be to give the fool archetype some space in our lives. “The soul demands your folly; not your wisdom.” —Carl Jung
The lessons I’d learned in that course were to be incorporated, ie embodied, with a forty day daily practice. The course had inspired me as nothing had before and so I committed to the forty days. For the next four weeks of morning practice of asana, pranayama and meditation I heard that ego-child’s voice cleverly looking to assert that it was still king in my house.
I practiced seeing my child-ego with new eyes and compassion as it did its best to stop me from my intention with words like ‘This is sooooooo stupid’ or ‘You have better things to do than these silly breath exercises’ or ‘Really? You’ve joined a cult, dumb ass’ and the like. And each time I heard the voice of the ego-child trying to manipulate me I replied ‘I hear you. Thank you for your opinion. You may be right. However, I’ve committed my Self to this forty day practice. I will do it for forty days. After forty days then we will see if you are correct. You may go back to sleep for now, as you aren’t needed at this time. When you are needed, I’ll let you know.’
And the ego-child did go to sleep, sometimes for 10 minutes, sometimes 5 minutes or less. And then for longer and longer and after about twenty-eight days I didn’t hear that form of the child-ego voice again. And with rare exception I’ve had a daily practice since. In the nine years since then my life has been completely transformed from constriction and suffering to openness and joy even with becoming a refugee in the time of covid.
Gautama Buddha and Māra
Last year I learned that ‘my’ practice of kindness with the ego-child inside me, that first begins with seeing it, is parallel to what Gautama Buddha recommended as the single most important practice to begin establishing mindfulness of the body. He suggested that whenever Māra, often translated as the demon or army of demons in the mind that show up to scare or shame us into inertia, laziness, frigidity or rigidity, all of which are a form of spiritual alignment with death (rigor mortis), Gautama directed his disciples to notice Māra and say ‘Hello Māra. I see you,’ with kindness and compassion. That’s it. Do not confront Māra with even a hint of hostility. Once seen the ‘armies of Māra’ will be unable to penetrate the person and will dissipate like the con Māra is. –Michael Stone “Practicing with the Devil (Māra)”
Ego Stories and Music: Mirror, Mirror, in the Alter, Who is the I I See There? (Michael Stone)
Stone: When I bowed [at the Buddhist alter in the Japanese Zen temple crypt] and I looked up there was no Buddha. There was a mirror. So as I looked up it was me. And I laughed and cried at the same time. Do you know that feeling? That feeling of being just so in your own experience that it has nothing to do with you. Most of the time in our meditation practice we’re so focused on the object, the object the object, that we feel so much like a subject all the time. We’re focusing on this and that, which makes me feel like a self that is having the experience. That’s not reverence. So, reverence is when we have mind that can meet what’s arising at the same level as what’s arising. Not from a distance. In Zen this is called original mind. But I like to think of this as the mind that we’re all born with as kids. We’re all born with this mind before it gets educated out of us. –Michael Stone “Reverence” Podcast (~12:20)
Ahamkara: The Ego of One’s Self
The concept of individuality, from the verb root "Kr" meaning action, plus "aham, meaning I; ego or egoism; literally "the I-maker, the state that ascertains "I know"; "I-maker, source of egoism; the sense that identification is occurring (glossary). –Michael Stone The Inner Tradition of Yoga: A Guide to Yoga Philosophy for the Contemporary Practitioner.
On Our Essential Nature (Rupert Spira)
Rupert: The greatest discovery in life is that our essential nature does not share the limits or the destiny of the body and mind. I do not know what it is about the words, actions or presence of the teacher or teaching that seem to awaken this recognition of our essential nature as it truly is, and its subsequent realisation in our lives… –Rupert Spira.
The Ego Is an Activity, Not an Entity (Rupert Spira)
Rupert: Is the ego the same as the separate self? [Yes] And what is the difference between the ego, separate self and finite mind? The finite mind is the character or clothing that infinite consciousness assumes in order to have objective experience. It can not have objective experience without doing so, without the agency of the finite mind.
However, identification with that finite mind is not necessary. That identification is the activity referred to as ego or separate self. It is not an entity, it is the activity of thinking and feeling that I am separate, temporary and finite.
The ego is a belief, not simply the functioning of the finite mind. We can have finite experience, as we all do every day, without the belief that I am a finite or separate being. Without the belief in the ego we see and feel that we share the same being.
So it is not finite experience that is problematic. It is beliefs that are problematic.–Rupert Spira.
Freud’s Ego (Anja van Kralingen)
Anja: In Freud’s model of the psyche, there are 3 main psychic “apparatus”, namely the Id, the Ego and the Superego. The Id is instinctive and will pursue all the things you want and want to do, whilst the Superego is your conscience and its goal is everything that you should be doing. Somewhere in the middle of these two drives is the Ego, who needs to find the balance between what you want to do and what you should be doing. A very good analogy to the Freudian concept of Ego is found in the Lord of the Rings saga, where Samwell (Frodo’s best friend) performs the function of the Ego in his role. He is the quiet, strong one, not heroic, but realistic. He plods along, being practical and supportive and unwavering in his commitment to the goal.
Jung’s Ego (Anja van Kralingen)
In Jung’s model of the psyche, the Ego takes on a slightly different role. Jung’s Ego is the hero. The goal of Jungian psychology in terms of the Ego’s development is to strengthen the Ego through introspection and integration of the Shadow. And the journey to individuation is mythologically speaking all the trials and tribulations that the hero attempts and by fulfilling these tasks, the hero overcomes his own fears and weaknesses. Looking at the same example of the Lord of the Rings, the Jungian Ego is Frodo, who has to find the courage within himself to overcome his fears and desires to ultimately destroy the ring.
The Hero’s Journey (Anja van Kralingen)
The process of individuation is a process of becoming ourselves. It is giving birth to who we are. Frodo is the archetypal “good guy”. He has no evil in him, or desires which cannot be met. He is content living amongst the hobbits. His journey starts here. But then, something new is introduced to him, a ring of power. The ring is a symbol of ultimate power, and to regain autonomy, Frodo has to destroy the ring which threatens to overpower him and control him. This metaphor describes how the unconscious complexes can take a hold of us and turn us into slaves to fulfil their own desires, not our own. Gollum is his shadow, that which he would become if he gave in to the power of the ring. –Anja van Kralingen Applied Jungian Psychology
Egocentrism of Children (Thomas Kesselring & Ulrich Mueller on Piaget Theory)
[B]oth ontological and logical egocentrism are due to lack of differentiation, either between the subjective and the external world (ontological egocentrism), or between ego and alter ego (logical egocentrism). Social interaction and the becoming aware of the self lead to a mediation of the child’s own point of view by other perspectives and, as a consequence, a universe of relations gradually replaces the universe of absolute substances.
Thus, in Piaget’s early work egocentrism refers to a developmental stage that is characterised by the unconsciousness of the self and the lack of differentiation between, on the one hand, ego and world, and ego and alter ego, on the other hand. –Jean Piaget: Thomas Kesselring & Ulrich Mueller “The Concept Of Egocentrism In The Context Of Piaget’s Theory”
On The Ego Edge (Mark W)
Ego is encrusted information acquired after being born. At birth, ego is nominal or nothing, perhaps. It is the interface to other humans.
Its core function is language.
If we had no ego where would the language be stored. –Mark W from our egoistic conversation 2023
Ego-Functioning as Infant As A Person (On Donald Winnicott)
In the very early stages of the development of a human child, ego-functioning needs to be taken as a concept that is inseparable from that of the existence of the infant as a person. The word self arrives after the child has begun to use the intellect to look at what others see or feel or hear and what they conceive of when they meet this infant body. The chapter utilizes the concept of ego-integration and the place of ego-integration in the initiation of emotional development in the human child, in the child who is all the time moving from absolute dependence to relative dependence, and towards independence. It suggests that the beginnings of object-relating within the framework of a baby’s experience and growth. In the development of a human child, therefore, ego-functioning needs to be taken as a concept that is inseparable from that of the existence of the infant as a person. –Abstract of Donald Winnicott The Maturational Processes and the Facilitating Environment
Meaning And Role Of The Ego In Our Consciousness: Is It Good Or Bad? (Deepak Chopra)
The ego is our self-image, not our true self. It is characterised by labels, masks, images, and judgements. The true self is the field of possibilities, creativity, intentions, and power. We can go beyond the ego through self awareness - awareness of our thoughts, feelings, behaviours, and speech. Thus we begin to slowly move beyond the ego to the true self. Deepak reads a beautiful poem by Rabindranath Tagore [below] "Who is this?”. It describes the ego as "my own small self." Can you go beyond your own small self, your ego, to discover your true self? –Deepak Chopra
Who Is This?
I came out alone on my way to my tryst. But who is this that follows me in the silent dark? I move aside to avoid his presence but I escape him not. He makes the dust rise from the earth with his swagger; he adds his loud voice to every word that I utter. He is my own little self, my lord, he knows no shame; but I am ashamed to come to thy door in his company. Rabindranath Tagore
Song of Myself read by David Muldoon
1 I celebrate myself, and sing myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you. I loafe and invite my soul, I lean and loafe at my ease observing a spear of summer grass. My tongue, every atom of my blood, form’d from this soil, this air, Born here of parents born here from parents the same, and their parents the same, I, now thirty-seven years old in perfect health begin, Hoping to cease not till death. –Walt Whitman (1892).
Note: Dr. Maurice Bucke also wrote a fascinating book about the evolution of human consciousness called Cosmic Consciousness - A Study in the Evolution of the Human Mind
Purpose is No Ego? (Carl Rogers)
It has been my experience that persons have a basically positive direction. Life, at its best, is a flowing, changing process in which nothing is fixed. In my clients and in myself I find that when life is richest and most rewarding it is a flowing process. To experience this is both fascinating and a little frightening. I find I am at my best when I can let the flow of my experience carry me, in a direction which appears to be forward, toward goals of which I am but dimly aware. –Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person
The Man in Another Mirror (Carl Rogers)
"The organism has one basic tendency and striving - to actualise, maintain, and enhance the experiencing organism” –Carl Rogers, 1951
Me vs. Me (Carl Rogers)
Our ideal self is that perfect representation of who we are, the one we all have floating around in our brains somewhere: that rich, successful, beautiful, ageless, talented, accomplished person that, if everything went our way, we would one day ultimately become. It is the version of ourselves that we often fixate on projecting to the world.
But here’s the thing—our ideal self isn’t real. It’s a fantasy, and the more fixated we are on that fantastical version of ourselves, the more miserable we end up being.
Our real self, on the other hand, is the person that we actually become through the influence of factors like our journey towards self-actualisation, our upbringing, and our social and cultural environment.
Humanist? (Carl Rogers)
Carl Rogers believed that all humans are connected by one major commonality—a motivation to achieve the highest level of being, or in other words, to “self-actualise.” To do so, Rogers claims we must strive to achieve a happy balance between our “ideal self” and our true self. –Nick Williams on Carl Rogers, 2019
Where do I Begin and End? (Michael Stone)
The body, on further subjective meditation, is not a static thing; it's primarily a concept layered over other concepts with some changing sensations, feelings, perceptions, and breath mixed up among them. I can feel a form that I'd call "body”, but I can't say where it is or what it is.
I don't know for certain where it begins or ends, especially with my eyes closed.
The body is not an actual thing that one can study — the body and the one who studies it are one. The observer and the body cannot be separated. Whether we examine the inner world of mind and body or the outer world of "things," we cannot find in our perception any "thing" that actually exists. If I say, "Show me your ego, could you do that? Where is your ego? You know you have an ego, but how do you know this? Mostly we know through inference — I can tell when I am self-centered —but that is a few steps back from direct experience. I cannot find the mechanism called "ego, nor can I remove it. The ground is groundless. How do we determine what we are and what we are not? If we are to map a perimeter of our existence, where do we draw the line between where we end and where what is external to us begins? The fact is that the common distinctions we make between things is the very mechanism that creates "things" in the first place. Duality, the creating of a self "in here" that perceives an object "out there" always creates separateness and alienation. Dualism is self-constructed; it's not built into reality as it presents itself. This takes us straight to the heart of yoga practice: yoga is the inherent union and interconnectedness of all existence before we split things up into subject, object, or any method of categorisation (10-11).
…
Longing is not to be dismissed as a form of attachment but an inevitable part of what keeps us going. Of course, it can get mixed up with the projects of the ego, but there is an inherent longing to see through the limitations of the ego. We long to know the nature of things and to connect and be grounded in relationship with something larger than our ideas of ourselves. We know so much about so many things, but what do we really know when pressed with anguish or pain? What do we learn about our character when up against the truth of change, the truth of death, the truth of suffering (p20) –Michael Stone The Inner Tradition of Yoga: A Guide to Yoga Philosophy for the Contemporary Practitioner.
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*A Ritual We Read to Each Other
by William Stafford
If you don't know the kind of person I am and I don't know the kind of person you are a pattern that others made may prevail in the world and following the wrong god home we may miss our star. For there is many a small betrayal in the mind, a shrug that lets the fragile sequence break sending with shouts the horrible errors of childhood storming out to play through the broken dike. And as elephants parade holding each elephant's tail, but if one wanders the circus won't find the park, I call it cruel and maybe the root of all cruelty to know what occurs but not recognise the fact. And so I appeal to a voice, to something shadowy, a remote important region in all who talk: though we could fool each other, we should consider— lest the parade of our mutual life get lost in the dark. For it is important that awake people be awake, or a breaking line may discourage them back to sleep; the signals we give — yes or no, or maybe — should be clear: the darkness around us is deep. –William Stafford from The Way It Is: New and Selected Poems
Addendum:
I turns out the ego in me wanted to reach out to the ego in you with some additional thoughts. To continue this exploration, go to:
I Thought It Was A Goner and that Ego Came Back
Namaste. 🙏
Love that William Stafford poem. Thank you for this deep and careful read--so much enlightenment, so lovingly parsed! A very thoughtful way to look at the ego from so many angles and facets.
Let me add that I enjoyed the poems and the final video.