Guy, you could have asked me what I meant by superstition. I would likely have told you about my asthma and how I know it's controlled by my mind, but in the midst of it, I can't 'psych' myself out of it. I suspect that the Advair I use is really no more than a placebo, a superstition. But if I were to acknowledge that, it might not work for me anymore. So I have this double-bind.
You had already said that your gout was controlled by your mind and not by what you ate or did. I saw us as equals in that, not me putting you down for my superior rationality.
But you have certainly confirmed the point I'm making in my Substack on, synchronistically, The Horus Gamos (YT published last night)--once a man decides that a woman is trying to dominate him, there's nothing you can do to change his mind because the act of trying to change his mind is seen as domination. I don't see any way for our communication to be healthy or fruitful.
And i disagree 100% - except for the ask. yes, i could have asked, although that would likely have been to the detriment of my exploration. possibly. the essay went to places i didn't at all expect.
your comment helped me immensely and i don't think that you are consciously trying to dominate me. and i've not thought that ever! in fact, i find you one of the most equalitarian people i engage with and truly love it.
as mentioned, i suspect that your use of 'superstition' was without awareness that its root is to to stand over. like 'rule of thumb'. this gives you, all of us, more word power. as you have observed in the past about the 'hidden' ... traps? or coarse references of words, this just happens to be one of them.
and it allowed me to understand more deeply my skepticism of reason.
so, my exploration took 3 weeks because it was heavy heavy going for me, and it has nothing to do with you dominating me. you allowed me to see, and so have helped me to be more free, as you almost always do.
and it gives you a chance to reconsider your relationship with that word. i'm sorry about your 'superstition' about your asthma. perhaps this new awareness will allow you to see how you are using it as it applies to your self, as a kind of language that is promoting internal schisms or even a form of bullying. that is the main point of the essay: it is a divisive word and i didn't know that before your comment and my look.
i've changed my mind about so much in the last few years it would be likely impossible to list.
so... be of good cheer. this is, as i said and i hope it is for you, a 'real' dialogue, a looking deeply into the other and most especially the internal. so, again, regardless of how you consider my reply, i will again thank you. i do not consider you in any way dominating me and see you as someone with great skill who by synchronicity says the right things at the right time for me to do the deep dives. our language is stockholm bully and that word turns out to be part of the mix, along with 'have to'. i didn't know that.
all the best with what is changing, with peace, respect, love and gratitude as we begin the deep deep apocalypse - the great discomfort of our own shadows.
You write, "Coraggio’s awareness-concern that how she considered her use of word-power to have the power to usurp my deluded superstitious power is the very same New Age horsepucky mind-fuckery that me and my sisters were filled with at home by that synchronistically named mother, Terry. So, the two Terries have the power to affect my personal power and discount my bodily experience of that power by their use of words to upset my insubstantial superstitious mind."
I say this with sorrow and not anger but I can't be your friend, Guy. I can't let myself be in an abusive relationship, which is what this passage illustrates most clearly but is only one of many in our long dialogue.
You said that you disproved my daughter's theory, which is that men who weren't given unconditional love by their mothers took it out on women by dominating them. The rest of her theory is that this subconsciously pushes those women away in order to fulfill their expectation that they'll abandon them.
I see your continued association of me with your mother and terms like New Age, which I've objected to multiple times as describing me, as you dominating me. I'm not going to let you call my innocuous, caring comment "New Age horsepucky mind-fuckery" and be of good cheer because now it "gives [me] a chance to reconsider [my] relationship with that word" and "perhaps this new awareness will allow [me] to see how [I am] using it as it applies to [my] self, as a kind of language that is promoting internal schisms or even a form of bullying."
I'm happy for you to converse with others on my thread, if that's something you choose, but I can't keep doing this, I won't respond again.
i will look at what you are saying to see if that is truly abusing you when it was really exploring my self and my experiences. your interaction with me was helping me to discover myself and was not and is not attacking you in any way.
nor did i disprove your daughter's theory. i added my experience as another piece in a complex familial dynamic. and as to the pushing away part, again, perhaps i am the exception to prove the rule. i lived with extremely high codependency with a woman for 37 years who spent much of that pushing me away. i still communicate with her and i will ask her if she felt i was pushing her away because i became aware in year 34 or so that i was certainly enabling her addictive behaviours, which was something i hadn't seen since i was just being the 'nice' — i originally wrote 'man.' however, i now see that i was not at all a man at that time.
as to that word. i think that you are one of the people engaged with the power of word spells. you've written about that, if memory serves me. i thought that this exploration was going to help remove a rather powerfully negative word spell. a pair of them. and two more for me to add to my list of important words to avoid using.
i am sorry that you think of this as an abusive relationship. i won't argue to change your mind. it is for you to change it of course. however i will take personal responsibility for my part in it and look deeply into my own shadow to see if i have in any degree been abusive. i will use my intuitive processes and also i will think how to get another outside opinion. the challenge with our shadows is that we don't see them and put them on other people. i'll see if the passage you cite was more than me playing around with the sound of words and releasing an anger that you seem to have decided to receive as if it was directed towards you. you brought the awareness, and the same names have been a powerful help to me. and i have enough awareness to consciously know i was not directing any anger towards you. again, our shadows blind us into spiritual by-passing, and so i will pursue this as deeply as ever.
thank you for the time and for all that you have helped me with! and if at some point you decide to change your mind, i will be very happy to be challenged by your sharp eye and penetrating intelligence. which will still be challenging me and inspiring me as you continue to dig into the collective shadow hidden by so many false narratives. gracias.
all the best with what is, with peace, respect, love and gratitude.
i am continuing to explore if my actions had been a part of being abusive, as you have felt and perceived that to be. and regarding the comment about unloved boys pushing women away when they grow into mature bodies and immature emasculated teenagers in them, i followed up and asked my ex if she felt that. no, she didn't although, with the unexpected detail she provided, it is possible that even if i had she would not have been aware of it. from her long reply, this is perhaps the most germane to our discussion and exploration.
"Males to me were to play with and then throw away literally. Never to be attached to. Males meant, nothing to me, except to be used and then dumped always. Unfortunately, you had to be stuck with this behaviour problem from me. Mental health was a problem with me. Finally after years of mental health problems and therapy, I think I got it right. Not completely, but reaching peace of mind and knowing that men won't hurt me anymore. I had told myself early in life that I would never love anyone, yes, anyone. When you left, I just carried on with no feeling in my soul nor mind. I met a psychologist, doing from home and also on phone therapy. I still to this day talk with him, he has turned my life to the better. "
i am continuing to explore this possible element in the shadow of my childhood experiences.
Please forgive me I'm going to do something horrible and put a comment before I read your post. I'm going to read your article right after and hopefully form a coherent thoughtful reply.
I wanted to add my thoughts and context because superstition has been a big elephant in my room at times, my thoughts on this topic are many and varied. I always love to read your work Guy.
Peace and joy always
I feel people use some words as weapons, self-limiting, boxing in what is not yet understood. For and Against ourselves and others.
Superstition has always had a derogatory connotation to me. I've had people tell me Mexicans (my in laws) are superstitious, they will blaim the mother for having a disabled child. It's the mother's fault. Psychologist for many years in the past blamed mothers for their children's mental disabilities such as autism saying they didn't love their children - as if there is only one cause of autism. Toxic poisoning from vaccines damages a child's brain which presents itself similar to a child who has been abandoned and doesn't have the ability to bond with others, required for social connection and verbal language. What most of these people ignore is that children like my son talked and were developing then suddenly regressed at a pivotal point, with both moments of normalcy and moments where they melt down due to any little stimulation - even a word can set them off if they've decided they don't like the word. Some people call autistic children spoiled oh you don't discipline, punish them enough as if that is going to be a solution to a child with hyperstimulation, unable to process things, flapping and screaming.
Everyone has their own cause, advice and solution for someone else about things they don't really know much about, cant explain, wish to judge others on.
I have had moments in my life where I have been superstitious that are very different from each other
One of those times I felt like when you become pregnant and all of a sudden there's pregnant women everywhere; as if your subconscious is trying to manifest itself in a way that you are being given an awareness, a synchronicity, life teaching you in a way that is unique and almost magical.
At times this serves me and at other times it did not. I gave my power to others. It was damaging and prevented me from being open things around me. I ran into every little thing until I almost couldn't function because I felt like whatever I did there wasn't a good outcome. Much of my hermitude is due to these moments of superstition narrowing my life to the point where I'm not living, to prevent experiencing things which may cause repercussions down the road.
I'm sorry it wasn't helpful or fully applicable. Your exploration reminded me of your words are spells post, how inspirational it was to consider how words affect ourselves and others. I find my own words are not always well chosen, especially when they come from a place of pain, feeling judged, diagnosed, gaslit.
your words were actually well chosen with an honesty of experience that came through clearly.
i hope that my very strange exploration will be helpful. our words, watching how we 'spell' ourselves and others are the flashlights to help guide us to the doors of our own shadows. this was an exciting and very very hard exploration for me because it was touching some very deeply placed word spells. the difficulty came into my body as compulsive nose-picking and bizarre fatigue with 10 hour sleeps. crazy stuff.
the last push i was returned to my energy flow and wrote steadily, with short breaks, for about 20 hours or more. i've been awake now for about 40 hours and have still pretty good energy.
it is great that you are able to see your reactions. with seeing will come, with practice, more careful responses instead of reactions. and from that comes the steps of taking back your power of words by eliminating the ones that give away or hurt your own power.
thank you for reading. (did you read the entire thing? it was so long! my body didn't want me to break it into two, which would have been the seemingly 'proper' thing to do. not sure why, my body has a 'mind' of its own! lol.)
now for bed. that was a tough tough 3 week essay for me. good night.
If you are interested in some genetics and other info about the placebo and nocebo effects, I wrote a series of posts which is linked in this post - https://www.peace-is-happy.org/post/exosomes-the-placebo-effect
thank you.
i will take a look!
we are so very very multidimensional that aliveness really is a huge magical expression of the energy of life. whatever that is.
Guy, you could have asked me what I meant by superstition. I would likely have told you about my asthma and how I know it's controlled by my mind, but in the midst of it, I can't 'psych' myself out of it. I suspect that the Advair I use is really no more than a placebo, a superstition. But if I were to acknowledge that, it might not work for me anymore. So I have this double-bind.
You had already said that your gout was controlled by your mind and not by what you ate or did. I saw us as equals in that, not me putting you down for my superior rationality.
But you have certainly confirmed the point I'm making in my Substack on, synchronistically, The Horus Gamos (YT published last night)--once a man decides that a woman is trying to dominate him, there's nothing you can do to change his mind because the act of trying to change his mind is seen as domination. I don't see any way for our communication to be healthy or fruitful.
And i disagree 100% - except for the ask. yes, i could have asked, although that would likely have been to the detriment of my exploration. possibly. the essay went to places i didn't at all expect.
your comment helped me immensely and i don't think that you are consciously trying to dominate me. and i've not thought that ever! in fact, i find you one of the most equalitarian people i engage with and truly love it.
as mentioned, i suspect that your use of 'superstition' was without awareness that its root is to to stand over. like 'rule of thumb'. this gives you, all of us, more word power. as you have observed in the past about the 'hidden' ... traps? or coarse references of words, this just happens to be one of them.
and it allowed me to understand more deeply my skepticism of reason.
so, my exploration took 3 weeks because it was heavy heavy going for me, and it has nothing to do with you dominating me. you allowed me to see, and so have helped me to be more free, as you almost always do.
and it gives you a chance to reconsider your relationship with that word. i'm sorry about your 'superstition' about your asthma. perhaps this new awareness will allow you to see how you are using it as it applies to your self, as a kind of language that is promoting internal schisms or even a form of bullying. that is the main point of the essay: it is a divisive word and i didn't know that before your comment and my look.
i've changed my mind about so much in the last few years it would be likely impossible to list.
so... be of good cheer. this is, as i said and i hope it is for you, a 'real' dialogue, a looking deeply into the other and most especially the internal. so, again, regardless of how you consider my reply, i will again thank you. i do not consider you in any way dominating me and see you as someone with great skill who by synchronicity says the right things at the right time for me to do the deep dives. our language is stockholm bully and that word turns out to be part of the mix, along with 'have to'. i didn't know that.
all the best with what is changing, with peace, respect, love and gratitude as we begin the deep deep apocalypse - the great discomfort of our own shadows.
You write, "Coraggio’s awareness-concern that how she considered her use of word-power to have the power to usurp my deluded superstitious power is the very same New Age horsepucky mind-fuckery that me and my sisters were filled with at home by that synchronistically named mother, Terry. So, the two Terries have the power to affect my personal power and discount my bodily experience of that power by their use of words to upset my insubstantial superstitious mind."
I say this with sorrow and not anger but I can't be your friend, Guy. I can't let myself be in an abusive relationship, which is what this passage illustrates most clearly but is only one of many in our long dialogue.
You said that you disproved my daughter's theory, which is that men who weren't given unconditional love by their mothers took it out on women by dominating them. The rest of her theory is that this subconsciously pushes those women away in order to fulfill their expectation that they'll abandon them.
I see your continued association of me with your mother and terms like New Age, which I've objected to multiple times as describing me, as you dominating me. I'm not going to let you call my innocuous, caring comment "New Age horsepucky mind-fuckery" and be of good cheer because now it "gives [me] a chance to reconsider [my] relationship with that word" and "perhaps this new awareness will allow [me] to see how [I am] using it as it applies to [my] self, as a kind of language that is promoting internal schisms or even a form of bullying."
I'm happy for you to converse with others on my thread, if that's something you choose, but I can't keep doing this, I won't respond again.
i see. this saddens me.
i will look at what you are saying to see if that is truly abusing you when it was really exploring my self and my experiences. your interaction with me was helping me to discover myself and was not and is not attacking you in any way.
nor did i disprove your daughter's theory. i added my experience as another piece in a complex familial dynamic. and as to the pushing away part, again, perhaps i am the exception to prove the rule. i lived with extremely high codependency with a woman for 37 years who spent much of that pushing me away. i still communicate with her and i will ask her if she felt i was pushing her away because i became aware in year 34 or so that i was certainly enabling her addictive behaviours, which was something i hadn't seen since i was just being the 'nice' — i originally wrote 'man.' however, i now see that i was not at all a man at that time.
as to that word. i think that you are one of the people engaged with the power of word spells. you've written about that, if memory serves me. i thought that this exploration was going to help remove a rather powerfully negative word spell. a pair of them. and two more for me to add to my list of important words to avoid using.
i am sorry that you think of this as an abusive relationship. i won't argue to change your mind. it is for you to change it of course. however i will take personal responsibility for my part in it and look deeply into my own shadow to see if i have in any degree been abusive. i will use my intuitive processes and also i will think how to get another outside opinion. the challenge with our shadows is that we don't see them and put them on other people. i'll see if the passage you cite was more than me playing around with the sound of words and releasing an anger that you seem to have decided to receive as if it was directed towards you. you brought the awareness, and the same names have been a powerful help to me. and i have enough awareness to consciously know i was not directing any anger towards you. again, our shadows blind us into spiritual by-passing, and so i will pursue this as deeply as ever.
thank you for the time and for all that you have helped me with! and if at some point you decide to change your mind, i will be very happy to be challenged by your sharp eye and penetrating intelligence. which will still be challenging me and inspiring me as you continue to dig into the collective shadow hidden by so many false narratives. gracias.
all the best with what is, with peace, respect, love and gratitude.
i am continuing to explore if my actions had been a part of being abusive, as you have felt and perceived that to be. and regarding the comment about unloved boys pushing women away when they grow into mature bodies and immature emasculated teenagers in them, i followed up and asked my ex if she felt that. no, she didn't although, with the unexpected detail she provided, it is possible that even if i had she would not have been aware of it. from her long reply, this is perhaps the most germane to our discussion and exploration.
"Males to me were to play with and then throw away literally. Never to be attached to. Males meant, nothing to me, except to be used and then dumped always. Unfortunately, you had to be stuck with this behaviour problem from me. Mental health was a problem with me. Finally after years of mental health problems and therapy, I think I got it right. Not completely, but reaching peace of mind and knowing that men won't hurt me anymore. I had told myself early in life that I would never love anyone, yes, anyone. When you left, I just carried on with no feeling in my soul nor mind. I met a psychologist, doing from home and also on phone therapy. I still to this day talk with him, he has turned my life to the better. "
i am continuing to explore this possible element in the shadow of my childhood experiences.
❤🌹
Deleted portion added back below:
Please forgive me I'm going to do something horrible and put a comment before I read your post. I'm going to read your article right after and hopefully form a coherent thoughtful reply.
I wanted to add my thoughts and context because superstition has been a big elephant in my room at times, my thoughts on this topic are many and varied. I always love to read your work Guy.
Peace and joy always
I feel people use some words as weapons, self-limiting, boxing in what is not yet understood. For and Against ourselves and others.
Superstition has always had a derogatory connotation to me. I've had people tell me Mexicans (my in laws) are superstitious, they will blaim the mother for having a disabled child. It's the mother's fault. Psychologist for many years in the past blamed mothers for their children's mental disabilities such as autism saying they didn't love their children - as if there is only one cause of autism. Toxic poisoning from vaccines damages a child's brain which presents itself similar to a child who has been abandoned and doesn't have the ability to bond with others, required for social connection and verbal language. What most of these people ignore is that children like my son talked and were developing then suddenly regressed at a pivotal point, with both moments of normalcy and moments where they melt down due to any little stimulation - even a word can set them off if they've decided they don't like the word. Some people call autistic children spoiled oh you don't discipline, punish them enough as if that is going to be a solution to a child with hyperstimulation, unable to process things, flapping and screaming.
Everyone has their own cause, advice and solution for someone else about things they don't really know much about, cant explain, wish to judge others on.
I have had moments in my life where I have been superstitious that are very different from each other
One of those times I felt like when you become pregnant and all of a sudden there's pregnant women everywhere; as if your subconscious is trying to manifest itself in a way that you are being given an awareness, a synchronicity, life teaching you in a way that is unique and almost magical.
At times this serves me and at other times it did not. I gave my power to others. It was damaging and prevented me from being open things around me. I ran into every little thing until I almost couldn't function because I felt like whatever I did there wasn't a good outcome. Much of my hermitude is due to these moments of superstition narrowing my life to the point where I'm not living, to prevent experiencing things which may cause repercussions down the road.
thank you, heidi. i loved your long comment! it was beautiful and beautifully expressed.
I'm sorry it wasn't helpful or fully applicable. Your exploration reminded me of your words are spells post, how inspirational it was to consider how words affect ourselves and others. I find my own words are not always well chosen, especially when they come from a place of pain, feeling judged, diagnosed, gaslit.
Much love always 🙏❤
hola.
your words were actually well chosen with an honesty of experience that came through clearly.
i hope that my very strange exploration will be helpful. our words, watching how we 'spell' ourselves and others are the flashlights to help guide us to the doors of our own shadows. this was an exciting and very very hard exploration for me because it was touching some very deeply placed word spells. the difficulty came into my body as compulsive nose-picking and bizarre fatigue with 10 hour sleeps. crazy stuff.
the last push i was returned to my energy flow and wrote steadily, with short breaks, for about 20 hours or more. i've been awake now for about 40 hours and have still pretty good energy.
it is great that you are able to see your reactions. with seeing will come, with practice, more careful responses instead of reactions. and from that comes the steps of taking back your power of words by eliminating the ones that give away or hurt your own power.
thank you for reading. (did you read the entire thing? it was so long! my body didn't want me to break it into two, which would have been the seemingly 'proper' thing to do. not sure why, my body has a 'mind' of its own! lol.)
now for bed. that was a tough tough 3 week essay for me. good night.
I read most of it. I'm still absorbing it and need to go back to the links to your other posts. I dont believe I have read them yet.
Self exploration is a good place to be. 💞
I am at a learned helplessness phase of my self exploration. Trying to break out lol.
That sleepless place, when I get there can bring such a creative flow and high.
I hope you sleep well 🙏
gracias.
yes, this was/is a very 'dense' post. it will be interesting to see how many comment.
(and i really lked my strange playlist to go with it. i'm not sure why or how the songs come up to be included in it.)
again, good night. this time i turn of the computer. lol!