murales de oaxaca. musica: bernard herrmann — the murder (from psycho soundtrack).
A Beautiful Day Begun with Big Pain in my Hip Ended Rife With Disgust
I woke into a planned busy and beautiful day that managed to end with disgust in various guises and forms. Had I meandered into the lost and found of a way? Had I found an actual ox and not just a tao of a pictured ox? (The Ten Ox-Herding Pictures.)
murale de oaxaca y imagen de pastoreo de buey #3 ‘ver el buey’. musica: Macy gray — nothing else matters.
I woke early, slightly before the alarm, with the fluctuating chronic pain in my right hip cranked up so much that I was, at times, involuntarily crying out with shock and awe when a ‘normal’ step exploded into a sharply felt landmine of discomfort that extended from hip to toes. Making the bed was an arduous tip-toe dance. I was concerned that my fifteen minute walk down the mountain to the bus would extend interminably. Fortunately, with some care, a hot shower, and with mentally relaxing out of intention the desire to put pressure on the pain to push it away, the pain eased to a much more tolerable achiness. So, while it was uncomfortable enough to have me limping much more than I have at times since its appearance in the spring of 2020, it was not sufficient to significantly slow me down. Phew! Into El Centro I went.
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Much later, after I had finished my afternoon and evening of painting the inside of my friend’s new store, I woke up from that fun and satisfying day to the powerful feeling of disgust. That awakening began with my muscle testing directing me to stop to eat a light dinner in a small organic café/restaurant directly alongside my homeward path. By ‘chance’ I sat within earshot of a threesome of older people sitting behind me. They talked in English, most likely from the USA although possibly from Canada. Despite my almost always greeting travellers in this kind of chance encounter, this time, with a puzzled why not, I did not.
Initially I sort of smiled at what I heard because their conversation was an odd kind of passive-aggressive complaint about how Spanish is to be spoken with tight precision in order for a native speaker to understand what is said. (I’ve concluded that that is because Spanish pronunciation is very precise, unlike English which is all over the map. And that that precision allows for its measurable greater spoken speed than English and thus has no room for the variation that is rife in English.) I pulled out a journal to write instead of using phone or computer while I waited for my food.
Their great and plentiful Oaxaca meal was set before them shortly after I began writing. Their conversation turned to the death of the planet as an obvious consequence to the excesses of human population and its associated over-consumption. ‘It was too bad that the last pandemic wasn’t good enough to help with that,’ the one woman said with what sounded like a straight-faced seriousness that caught at me. ‘We can hope,’ she added, ‘that the next pandemic will do a better job than the last one did.’ Despite my initial gut feeling of disgust I wanted, I hoped that she was joking. As she continued moralising with smug self-righteousness it was clear that she was indeed deadly serious.
The moralistic tone continued and it was evident that she had rationalised away her human compassion using perfectly expressed moral rectitude. Morals, with their expression in morality, are the agents that other wise caring humans use to rationally ease out from themselves compassion to any who is deemed undeserving in some way. In this case, the vaguely defined other destroying the planet with vaguely defined climate change. There was no open protest from the other two, only quiet acquiescence. Nor did I stand up and protest! Although I did wrestle with that and that is what seeded this essay: my absolute feeling of disgust and my body’s directed restraint from expressing it.
Moral Rectitude Knows No Compassion-Limits to Rationalised Good Deaths
It seems that this woman’s moralising the good of mass graves is an exact equivalent of the void of compassion that has been us ed throughout history by moralists to kill witches, pre-Catholic Christians, post-Catholic heretical Christians, Moslems, Jews, many indigenous peoples, non-Moslems, Arabs, ad infinitum. Moral rectitude knows no limits to cold-heartedness and the moralist is always right when wielding the club or axe against the undeserving, aka, the scapegoat.
And, of course, the most recent global example of moralised good without compassion began in 2019 with the military controlled initiated and rolled out convid response plan as the cover for the world-wide distribution of a complex bio-weapon.
In the time of the great and apocalyptical convid the uninjected were subjected to that moralistic outrage and compassionless rectitude. Many or even most of the people who ostentatiously virtue-signalled having rolled up their sleeves to take the shot in the dark were also those people who brayed moralistically to dehumanise those who didn’t. The jab proselytisers used medical morality to eject compassion with the dark matter injection and openly and flagrantly castigated, shunned, shamed and stripped of work, freedom of congregation and travel, any and all people who refused to be similarly stuck with an improperly tested injection of unknown ingredients, efficacy side effects, short or long term. Had not the Canadian truckers stepped in as effectively as they did, would the morality driven mass formatted people have continued on to the atrocities that Mattias Desmet warned against with references to past examples?
Mums the Word: I Was Struck into Disgust and Stuck — And Said Nothing
I felt disgusted by her. By her words and the idiocy and evil of them. I’ve heard and read similar from others here and there during my dig into the great convid. That day was different. The reality of that distasteful evil by a self-satisfied moralist bloated with malevolent ignorance was no longer just flat words from afar. It went from my ears into my heart like never before. I am sure she didn’t actually understand the human costs of the ‘good’ that she was advocating. I was truly surprised at my Self, at how visceral was the disgust I felt towards her. That feeling of disgust was a surprise because disgust is not a word I use. Nor is it a feeling that I can remember having felt towards another person. At least not like this.
And it is interesting that, since refusing the injection, in the process of waking I have come across many references by the WHO, the WEF, Bill Gates, Jonas Salk and others, including King Charles, who have openly advocated for population reduction in various ways with more or less open language. Within two months of my beginning to dig into the anomalies of the convid I concluded that it was a planned effort to kill people. It was an organised and controlled deliberately fomented panic fired with fear, intimidation and moral rectitude in order to herd us like sheep into being injected by … what? Something untested and completely safe because it was a new gene-therapy technology created by a pharmaceutical industry free from liability? From a pharmaceutical industry with a history of billions in payouts for having sold poisoned drugs with lies and covered by liars lying in the pharmaceutically financed media?
Yet it was at this time,it was she who had disgusted me! The feeling was incredible and strong and persistent. It hung in me so tightly that I had, effectively, wedded my feelings to her for far far longer than was warranted by her short advocacy for a passive-aggressive orchestrated mass anthropocide — one I’d heard and/or read about many times before. She had long since meandered her tongue to social banalities about travel and friends and food. And there I was, my ears confronted with a living embodiment of the banality of evil in a human form comfortably discussing canapés or fava beans to be served with guests on the corpses of billions of undeserving people. All washed down with an eco-friendly organic Chianti, I am sure.
What made this instance of banal evil so different to me?
I ached to say something. I wasn’t thinking of the importance of agitating her state of being in mass formation. My thinking — if that is what it was — had basically stopped beyond this narrow range caught within emotion. I didn’t think of Jordan Peterson’s sharp responses to climate change activists. I was mentally stuck in a triggered disgust. I stood up to ask my body using PS-RAP (Psyche-Somatic Body Awareness Process) about saying something to the trio. Say what? I had a clear verbal attack that was clever and sharp — imo, although hampered by triggered disgust.
Excuse me. I heard you express concern about overpopulation and your disappointment that the last pandemic wasn’t good enough to fix that problem. And that you hoped that maybe the next one would have a better outcome. I have good news for you. You don’t have to worry about the next pandemic because those countries who had high rates of the mRNA injection for the last one are seeing much higher rates of excess mortality, especially in the young, than those who did not get the mRNA injection. And vaccine induced AIDS is rising rapidly. And that those rates are increasing at an increasing rate. I hope that that will help you sleep, knowing that there are very powerful people who are, like you, concerned about overpopulation and climate change. And unlike you, though, they have enacted a plan of voluntary and forced injections with a hodgepodge of toxins and sterilising agents to help the planet survive being destroyed by us over-consumers. Please, enjoy your meal now that you can relax knowing that the serious problem of overpopulation is being well attended by very powerful and caring people.
Fortunately (or unfortunately?) my PS-RAP directed me to stay mum. Really? I continued to stand beside the table to re-probe my body’s feeling-push of yea or nay. Again, nay. I sat. Stuck in disgust. I returned to eating the good food, it’s tastiness lost in pre-occupation.
There it was, I had given to her my pleasure. It is interesting to note that in Spanish, ‘me gusta’ — I’m in the middle of learning Spanish con gusto — means ‘to me it gives pleasure’ from the Latin gustāreto taste, as in food. So ‘dis-gust,’ from the Latin disgustāre, originally meant ‘to disturb the taste’, which with the vagaries of time now means ‘to cause an intense dislike’.
Population Death Synchronicity #1: Korean VAIDS Announcement
The following morning one of my email feeds had an ominous VAIDS subject line.
End of Population Death Synchronicity #1, ‘Korean VAIDS Study’.
Population Death Synchronicity #2 March 12: Deaths Are Soaring Among Covid-Vaccinated
Late on the Wednesday, after I thought that I had finished this long essay, I paused to make supper, eat, and look at my email. I found in my inbox from 11:42 in the morning more good news for the woman saddened by the failure of the plandemic to have killed enough people:
Yet another study has confirmed that all-cause non-Covid deaths are soaring among people who received mRNA “vaccines.”
The study analyzed official data from the UK government’s Office for National Statistics (ONS) spanning April 2021 to May 2023.
The researchers examined all-cause mortality rates in relation to Covid “vaccination” status across various age groups.
They calculated standardised mortality ratios (SMRs) for both all-cause and non-Covid deaths.
The researchers then compared the data for “vaccinated” individuals to their unvaccinated counterparts.
The analysis shows no change among the unvaccinated cohort.
However, all-cause mortality rates are soaring among those who received the Covid mRNA injections.
End of Population Death Synchronicity #2, ‘Rising Rates of Increasing Rates of Excess Mortality in Highly Injected Countries’.
Population Death Synchronicity #3 Mar 18th Surge in Children’s Death by Vaccination
On March 18th, in the day before I returned to complete the now 6th or so final final pre-post edit, yet another synchronicity detail tied to my triggered unspoken rant. So, even as I was in a triggered state, the dependent co-arising of the universe put into me words and ideas specific to something in the air. My rant had included
General rise and increasing rate of increase in all cause mortality in highly injected countries. ✅
VAIDS growing (which was odd for me to think as I hadn’t thought of VAIDS in a long time) ✅
Increasingly the young are dying post injection. ✅
Leading experts in Japan have issued a global alert to call for an urgent reassessment of worldwide vaccination programs after linking a recent surge in child deaths to “vaccines.”
Introduction to and Summary of the Scientific Summary By Frank Bergman March 18
Leading experts in Japan have issued a global alert to call for an urgent reassessment of worldwide vaccination programs after linking a recent surge in child deaths to “vaccines.”
A bombshell new studypublished in the Springer Nature peer-reviewed journal Discover Medicine raises the alarm over the issue after connecting several child deaths to “vaccinations.”
However, it wasn’t only mRNA injections that were linked to the deaths as the study found that multiple children died suddenly after receiving standard childhood schedule vaccines.
In the wake of Yamamoto’s [study], top Japanese experts are now calling for an urgent reassessment of global vaccination programs, particularly mRNA “vaccines.”
Yamamoto’s findings are driven by growing evidence of vaccine-induced immunodeficiency and a sharp rise in adverse effects.
Alarmingly, Japan has recorded over 600,000 excess deaths since the Covid “vaccine” rollout.
However, despite the pandemic long being over and “vaccine” uptake waning, deaths have continued.
Particularly concerning are the soaring deaths among children who received Covid injections.
Link to full study here. Link to download free pdf of study here.
End of Population Death Synchronicity #3, ‘Rising Rates at Increasing Rates of Excess Mortality in Children of Highly Injected Countries’.
I Begin to Walk Home and Remember Jordan Peterson’s Climate-Change Activist Retort
Not too long after they left I too left. I to walk to the bus stop a few blocks north. It was then that I remembered Peterson’s sharp retorts to climate change activists as helpless victims who petulantly and childishly demanded that the other changes. See, for example, Jordan Peterson educates a climate activist on personal responsibility and she is not happy about it. And I would like to think that I’ve heard him suggest to an activist that if climate change was such a dire situation that they could kill him/herself — Sister #2 has the same memory, although he may not have said that because he is very careful with his words. Perhaps I’m thinking of Scrooge who, at the hand of Charles Dickens in the 1800s, once said about poor children, ‘If they would rather die they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population’ (p.11 from A Christmas Carol). Eugenics has a long life and has been and is well supported by the well healed and very wealthy.
‘If they would rather die,’ said Scrooge, ‘they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.‘ [Later: ‘… What then. If he be like to die, he had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.’ Scrooge hung his head to hear his own words quoted by the Spirit. Music: Nadine Shah — Evil.
I Get Home With a Realisation that the true Disgust is the Disgust of what is Hiding Within Me
On the ride and final walk home — about 45 minutes total — I had time to reflect and I was struck by my own disgust! OMG! I hadn’t seen it in the restaurant, hadn’t seen that the disgust I was reacting to and clinging to was, in emotional and somatic reality, something within me that disgusts me. Something that I have blocked my Self from seeing and/or feeling.
And I realised that my disgusting encounter was a synchronistic manifestation of this week’s lesson in the Clearsight Method course that I’ve joined in order to restore my eyesight to 20/20 without the glasses I’ve worn since I was about twelve.
This week the course’s developer and instructor, Ainhoa de Federico, introduced us to Module 9 Level 3, “Emotional level: release emotional tensions that prevent you from seeing clearly.” (De Federico is in Spain and teaches with both English and Spanish. For those with Spanish here is a nice video: ‘Ainhoa de Federico] 👀 Cuida Tus Ojos Y Mejora Tu Vista para Leer Más y Mejo’.) She stated that this, the emotional aspect, she considers to be the most important part of the course. Without clearing the emotional or psychological samskara, the physical exercises, like each stronger prescription, will not overcome the power of the mind-body system to keep us from seeing clearly that which we don’t want to see. The emotional component of my near-sighted astigmatism is the turning point between seeing with or without glasses.
Two days after that on-line class lesson, I was filled with disgust in a way I don’t remember ever having experienced. Coincidence or synchronicity? And my last several essays and my own practices and interactions with people have had a strong focus and emphasis on seeing as true what is in reality true, seeing as false what is in reality false, and seeing as neither true nor false that which is in reality neutral. That is the first of the yogic kleshas of Patañjali’sYoga Sutras, calledavidya, often (mistakingly imo) translated simply as ignorance.
Furthermore, for one of the very few times in my life I find myself stalled in a course with procrastination and being unusually lax in my due diligence with the lessons. Of course I have great excuses!Mara is the demon-voice inside me that supplies me with a thousand skilful, tasty and well reasoned and/or morally justified distractions to help limit me and to keep me small. Excuses such as I don’t have the money to buy pin-hole glasses; I am too busy to find an empty eye-glass frame to make my own. I…. Fill in the blank.
Refusal to See as True my Anima Death as a Disgusting Traumatic Event and Base of Myopia and Astigmatism
De Federico’s data shows that 88% of people who wear glasses began to do so at a memorable point in their life: something so traumatic happened that emotionally / psychologically they refused to see it. Their eyes responded by stopping their ability to see. Yes, I know that this is true for me in some way — I feel the truth of that, for me, with a resonance in my body and mind. But what?
The timelines of my childhood are vague and jumbled. I think that I began glasses in the big elementary school likely grade five in the winter — I remember a snow-flake landing on one of the lenses. So I would have been 11-12. My birthday is in February. As of now I’ve not isolated a distinct event. Although the event may have preceded the glasses being prescribed by a few or even several months.
Here I paused to do some extensive muscle-testing with PS-RAP after the initial query confirmed my timeline. What happened around that time? I stood and allowed my imagination to free associate and what came forward was something I had done that previous summer. My best friend at the time, who was a year older than me, managed to convince me to betray my soul, my anima. Even at that time I knew in my soul the absolute danger to me of swearing to something, anything because that was, for me, going to be a full life-long commitment. It took him a long time to overcome my soul’s caution and resistance. Yet he finally did. We sealed the death pledge of blood brothers with spit and blood from cut palms.
That was that. I cut myself off from my anima. Of course I didn’t really know that at the time, just that it was bad bad bad. And for him two years later he betrayed that pledge and me. I didn’t say anything and in my mind I understood that that was, in a way, something more ‘natural’ in the flow of life. And perhaps a lesson in how shallowly some people, even best friends are, with their death pledges. And how some are overly bound by them.
I think that I honoured that pledge until 2013 despite my coming to live with a woman starting in late 1979. I did not have a girlfriend until 2013 and that was over the internet. We were close friends for about 18 months and became teenage-like lovers exploring sexuality and sexual intimacy even across space. And for much of that time time didn’t seem to exist for us. And like magic my testicles dropped as if I were indeed a prepubescent boy moving towards something approximating adulthood: it was as if I had been physically arrested at just about the age I’d made the blood and spit death pledge. Trauma experts note that often our emotional age arrests at the time of the event that becomes a held trauma. And for me, that arrested development included my body.
In the years since starting yoga in 2014, I have done several exercises to remove that pledge, and in general the overwhelming death grip of promises and pledges, from my body and mind. And that effort was aided by the theta healer who also discovered the death pledge energy trapping me to past events that no longer served this moment now. The incident with my best friend was one of the most important crippling events. And the second was my death pledge to my ex who I consider to have saved my life in 1979 when I escaped with her from the sex-cult of my family.
Eyeglasses as Soul Betrayal Trophies? Our Mind-Body System is Truly Astonishing
It seems that my eyeglasses are a remembrance of my anima-death, or at least a part of that. And I do remember, again now, the feeling of that soul-betrayal within my body. Once again it has flushed with shame. This time, though, with something new. This time I feel something more than ‘just’ shame: I feel that I wasn’t seeing that I had been also feeling disgusted at my Self for that betrayal. PS-RAP concurs with this determination. This is a serious enough question to be answered that my intention is to cast the I Ching a little later.
It is amazing how subtle, and powerful, our survival mechanisms are. The shock of that betrayal has stayed with me and I’ve referred to it from time to time and, supposedly, I dealt with it while working through the Jungian materials on the wounded anima. Thousands of hours I am sure, and I’ve no memory of having felt disgust. Nor did disgust arise as an emotional-psychological state or part of a state during four years of working with an excellent theta-healer and psychic. Even when we worked with my unbalanced loyalty to oaths and accepted obligations. Deep and dark was that self-disgust.
So that Sunday my muscle testing confirmed my timeline and the connections. And as I was poking around this ‘thing’ something else came up out of the memory well. I think that it was in the same summer or perhaps early fall as when I made my blood-spit oath with my bf to disavow all connection with my anima by removing intimacy with females from my life. As I sat with it I could feel again the texture of the wood that I had lightly carved. I see the fire, feel the heat of it, and feel my face free of eyeglasses.
Earlier that day I had found a piece of wood, something split that perhaps I had even split for the firewood — splitting firewood was one of my most important chores as the only son. I had picked up a piece of wood that I saw clearly was a perfectly shaped, although somewhat flattened, female body. And I lightly carved into the shapely wood the outline of the legs and thighs and the ‘v-shape’ of the vulva, and the curve of the breasts. I don’t remember more than that. Later I would see in prehistoric figures something similar, such as the clay figures below without the lines.
Two Prehistoric Female Figurines in Clay Loosely Approximating the Female Figure I Saw in a Piece of Split Wood. Music: Colin Stetson, Sarah Neufeld — Won’t Be A Thing to Become.
For some reason I showed this to Terry, that person who had brought me into life§. I have no idea why. Why she brought me into life only to devour it. And why I showed a representation of my anima to her. Perhaps because I felt something numinous and important in this simple shape and that my having put something unseen of my self, my anima, on and in this form which was incomplete until it had been confirmed by an adult in some way. Claude, the person who impregnated Terry at my conception, was absent and disrespected as an intellectual clod and fool who couldn’t use a hammer and nail instead of making music. And there weren’t any other adults around, no uncles, aunts or trusted eccentric neighbours.
§Intra-Synchronicity: Why did I Show my Anima? (Misplaced) Trust? On March 16th the interesting and outside-the-box cognitive scientist John Vervaeke disclosed to me that one of the key characteristics of human learning, one that distinguishes us from other primates, is the way the infant/child trusts adults: ‘Elizabeth Oldfield & John Vervaeke: Can faith solve the meaning crisis?’
And she laughed at me, at it.She mocked me and that something alive inside of me looking for confirmation of life or, perhaps, of life changing me into puberty. That mother’s mockery of my effort at that time broke me. Something was split off within me and from me and, with a sadness that was to precede a life of looking daily to die, I broke the figurine in half. With a feeling of a death of something beyond articulation I threw something of my Self into the fireplace to be burnt. I feel that death and cremation more strongly then and now than I have for any person’s death that I have felt at the few funeral's I’ve attended. Except one, a young brilliant woman who was a star or even sun of brightness in life. Someone who I first met at her funeral, the daughter of a co-worker and mentor whom I deeply respected.
With that small figurine turning to ash and smoke something in me died. I’ve reflected on that event a few times without looking at it more deeply than the feeling of shame I felt at the mockery I had received from that mother. I didn’t know that that was part of an unseen disgust towards myself for those choices and actions I had made in deference to others. I hadn’t trusted my Self enough to withstand bully enculturation by peers and elders.
It was a second blow to me after having promised my friend with a blood and spit handshake to remain alienated from the female as more important than being alive in life as a man with a soul. Between him and her, from my action and my reaction, I had doubly broken my soul contract for this lifetime. At the time that I did it I knew it was bad. I had fallen into the pit of my own hell and forsook my soul-purpose in order to instead honour an ego-constructed shallow blood oath at the age of twelve that I thought I would keep until death in this life. And I deepened that hell-pit of my own construction by burning my spirit in a childish petulant anger against my mother.
And so it is I have worn eye-glasses since shortly after those events, my choices, my acts of self inflicted schismogenesis. And that the lenses would thicken steadily year after year that I blamed on optometrists’ unethical scamming. Some years the thickness increased more quickly, some years at a snail’s pace to where I now own two pairs of very expensive progressives, one for the computer and one for distance. Today, for my misapplied blame and bile towards optometrists, I apologise for castigating your ignorance as conscious malevolence: all of us are filled with blindness to our ignorance. As Seth said fifty years ago ‘We create our own reality’ in Nature of Personal Realityby Jane Roberts. Or to simply stop all ‘blame and complain’ as many teach, and where it hit home for me with the teaching style of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar in his excellent and properly named course ‘The Art of Happiness’.
In late 2013 I took a big step towards reconnecting to my anima, by choosing to break that blood and spit oath. At the age of fifty-two I met a young woman through an on-line writing group who was thirty years younger than me. And interestingly enough, less than a week after we consummated our on-line relationship in January of 2014, I began my first real yoga class. And that class was a huge step forward and out from under the contemptuous thumb of my wife.
A Swiss Laughter Synchronicity?
Thursday afternoon I was in el centro. I met a young thirty-something woman in a café. Space was limited and I sat in the available table between her and a young couple. She was writing with great intensity and rapidly moving her ten fingers smoothly across her laptop. I had some granola with fruit and yogurt then returned to writing this essay. After a long while she closed the laptop and pulled out a paper notebook. I excused myself to her and asked if she was a writer. She was a little surprised, then smiled and said with a hint of an accent ‘No. I journal.’ ‘What do you journal about?’ She hesitated then replied that she is exploring herself, her meaning and place and life. Who she is and where she might want to go. That she has been struggling with the feeling that, for her lifetime, she was not being seen. And she elaborated that in recent months she had become aware of the powerful importance of words and to be careful with how she used them. She is exploring mantra and affirmation to bring change in her life experience.
That aligns perfectly with my thoughts too, as I’ve elaborated in my substack essays and detailed in
Unseen, We Live Bully Stockholm Syndrome And Other Oddities of Being Alive in a Miss-Spelled See of Words.
This became a truly delightful conversation that spanned a wide range of ‘spiritual’ things including yoga. She shared a recent experience, a synchronicity that raised the hairs of my arms: some days after affirming her state of being seen she opened her eyes after a beach meditation to see that a book had been placed in front of her while her eyes had been closed. A stranger had left her a book and within it had handwritten his/her praise for her dedicated, inspiring and beautiful beach yoga practice with meditation. And so she experienced a profound shift from her life-long feeling of not being seen to now being seen in an exquisite and profound way. The Universe used its language of synchronicity to uplift and change her state of heart in life.
After I shared a bit of my initiation-into-yoga story she said ‘My first experience with yoga was not at all like yours! Because I played football my whole life, I lacked flexibility. When the yoga teacher looked at my inability to touch the floor with my hands in a forward bend he laughed at me. I was so humiliated I didn’t go back. And I stopped yoga for two years. Eventually I was glad I went back.’
What an astounding story, for a yoga teacher to actually laugh at a new student for lacking flexibility! Horrible. And for a mother to shame her son with mockery and laughter instead of the World’s Green Laughter.
And Back to That Wednesday: The Disgust Wake-Up Call To Me And My Blocked Vision Became an After-Sleep Ear-Blasting Polyphonic Disgust Deluge Fest Synchronicity
After getting off the bus the twenty minute walk home to the cabaña up the mountain side was an opportunity to practice my pranayama and consider my inferred discovery of self-disgust. Really? Yes. It resonated with my body. Really? Disgust? At what? And I stretched my memory to when I had last felt disgust and I didn’t find anything to attach a disgust story too. Nothing?Ever? That’s strange, isn’t it? Surely I’ve felt it before because how else would I know it? Hmmmmm. I think my ex may have said, once or twice, that I had filled her with disgust.
With these thoughts and non-memories as objects of curiosity I entered the cabaña. And I was suddenly overwhelmed by what felt like total exhaustion to an extent I’ve rarely felt. So exhausted that I felt nearly body-dead, barely able to take the small day-pack off the bed. I dragged my body a few metres to the bag’s hook, asked my body on the return to the bed about this tiredness being just the mind-state — no, it wasn’t. Before I crashed, fully clothed onto the bed, I thought ’Yup, this exhaustion is a sure sign of something very energetic shifting in the psyche,’ and then I was asleep. That was at about 8pm.
Fortunately it is the warm season here now, and I woke up around 1:00am. I felt good and refreshed. I readied myself for an early morning disgusting essay write. I turned on my news-feeds to see what was there while I made coffee. And before I could say something like ‘Rumpelstiltskin is a figment of my imagination’ I was showered with the disgust that followed Trump’s first formal and televised congressional address after having been sworn in as president in 2025. After about the 10th disgust I laughed and said, out loud, something like ‘Okay, okay, Universe! I get it. I see! This disgust is not to be passed off as a maybe or an oopsie.’ Although I hadn’t actually thought that, even while having been less than diligent with the exercises of the Clearsight Method of eye-glass elimination.
Trump derangement syndrome had invoked a massive uniting disgust call-and-response in a divided house. And I guess that that is the tao for me today: to heal the divide in my own house between my anima (soul), and the me that has been held apart from soul and my ache to be integrated as whole. I could only be less than whole while I kept unseen in blackness and restricted eyesight the incongruent and unseen disgust of Self for the betrayal I did to split my Soul-Self fifty-two years ago.
What had fired up the disgust storm? The democrats had put themselves willingly into full public display as completely spoiled narcissistic twelve year olds, totally blind to the shameful pubescent display of victimised resentment that was approaching something evil. Somehow they managed to wrinkle their faces into scowls that condemned life with a viscerally felt anger, resentment and hatred that seemed to pour out from their eyes, their faces, their skin like foul pus. Their body-dead postures and inane signs were more dead than even caricatures of Tim Burton horror dolls with their bingo-like signs.
It was truly ugly, dirty and vile. They had ostentatiously cut off their noses for all to see with such obvious hatred that my earlier feeling of disgust at a privileged woman’s wished for broad anthropocide by plandemic was in reality a tiny canapé in the banquet of disgust that night. The behaviour of the democrats in congress had evoked dish after dish of near ubiquitous disgust, some of which I’ve detailed below. Was it, as some have claimed, an undignified democratic seppuku, their ‘democide’?
‘I am half the man I used to be.’ Music: Stone Temple Pilots — Creep.
Disgusting Examples: Feel Free to Skip Down to ‘Faustian Synchronicity’ Once Your Disgust Palate has Been Exhausted
3:25Why is nobody at MSNBC watching that back like the rest of us aghast in horror and [saying], you're fired, because that was a disgusting thing to do. She wasn't the only one as the MSNBC Rachel Maddow rant about don't politicise this boy's story then politicised his story.
From the comment section, not complete:
How?! How on Earth could she go on national television and say that?!?! Disgusting.
What Disgusting person she is for saying that!
Disgusting is an understatement.
how dare nicole wallace to politicise this poor boy in such a disgusting manner, she and rachel maddow NEED to be fired asap
Well, that day had something significant hit the blind spot, and that something was disgust.
2:05[DR]It's theatre in some sense, right, but sometimes some real things happen within that theatre. And and it was just a beautiful beautiful moment Rachel Maddow was less enthused about DJ [the boy with brain cancer].
[RM]For the record and this is disgusting. The president made a spectacle out of praising a young man who thus far survived paediatric cancer. As if the president had something to do with that. This was in the midst of him praising DOGE. DOGE cuts, among other things, have cut off funding for ongoing research into paediatric cancer.
[DR]She is so [long pause] … I'll try to control myself. Effing vile and disgusting. That was such a beautiful moment. And if your brain is so broken, and you are so partisan when something like that happens that beautiful hug right there, that kid. Like that's really real that's actually real.
And from the comment section, not complete:
This alone should make MSNBC to fire Rachel Maddow without any benefits. This is so disgusting.
Both of these woman are purely disgusting! Shame on you for saying horrible things about a young cancer survivor. Shame on you both.
Disrespecting that young man and his father is disgusting!
She accuses Trump of using this young man DJ, but look at her goal to use him against Trump. Disgusting she should be fired.
How disgusting. This woman should be removed.
Who was not crying when DJ was made a member of the secret service. I saw his interview. Such a beautiful articulate young man. That dreadful woman and her disgusting words made me ill.
What Nicole Wallace said is one of the most vile and disgusting things I have heard ever. Shame Shame Shame
Rachel Maddow actually one upped her [nicole wallace] and called it disgusting on her show. She is also a sick individual.
Absolutely disgusting. Unbelievably evil.
I can be cold hearted and uncaring at times, but seeing the real joy on that kid's face was contagious and an honest and genuine moment of wonder and amazement......all as a lead up to a disgusting take. DJ, little man, YOU are THE MAN.
7:32Joy, Whoopie and Sunny Hostin didn't acknowledge anything for this 13-year-old boy. And I find that absolutely disgusting. Bro I don't care … because I feel like that's something that regardless, Democrat, Republican whoever is standing up there.
…
It rubs me the wrong way you know. What I mean … that that's absolutely sickening it's it's disgusting for Sunny Hostin to even be looking [at it] like that.
I am a lifelong Democrat who is utterly disgusted with the party. The barbaric behaviour is out of control and makes us lose any and all credibility
Sent an email to my MN democratic senator, Amy Klobuchar. Expressed my disgust towards her and disappointment in her antics since the election, but especially during the POTUS address. Told her she's lost my vote, should be ashamed and to consider apologising to MN and US citizens
The lady in green condemning their disgusting behaviour was fantastic.
i would say they could have lost 10-20% of voters with that childish and disgusting behaviour
I would be livid if my party did what they did, what a inhumane thing they did they are totally lost! Disgraceful act of hate and disgusting disrespect.
I could totally be on this. I have been an EXTREME Democrat for all 35 years of my adult life. Donated, campaigned, knocked on doors, rallies, all of it. But in the last 4 years, the last 1 year specifically, I am HUMILIATED AND ENRAGED by how despicable, dishonest, and insane they've become. SEETHING. DISGUSTED. DONE!!!!!
100% agree - those who sat down for DJ Daniel, or the families of Laken Riley and Jocelyn Nungaray are disgusting, despicable beings. That was one of the most disgusting displays I have EVER seen by members of our government.
15:41 [PM]…we've got a clip of Andrew Tate. He went on the Candace Owens show and he was talking about Florida's politics involving him. Let's take a look.
[AT] I’m truly disgusted and if I be honest there's a lot of rumours flying around.
…
17:07[Sarah Stock]… I don't think I've ever claimed to be completely supportive of Andrew Tate. I mean I'm a Christian. I don't agree with a lot of the sexual degenerate lifestyle that he promotes. Which by the way I would say a lot of people in the conservative movement promote similar sexual degenerate lifestyles themselves. We have Dave Rubin renting out women's wombs to buy surrogate children with his husband. And I find that equally as disgusting. But I think we need to be able to separate people's personal lives from what's actually going on here. Legally and say okay Andrew Tate is a US citizen he's just trying to fly home…
35:47[Stephen Smith]… and this is the thing that gets me in trouble because obviously me being a black man me being a centrist sort of centre left as opposed to centre right I've been one that was inclined to vote Democratic you know, at least for the presidency for the vast majority of my life. If it was anybody other than Trump I think I would have voted conservative this time around I'm sort of becoming even more enlightened. I'm going to use that word cuz I was so disgusted with the left and what I saw my patience has run thin at times. And then I've listened to you [Candace Owens] over the years and one of the things that I didn't like is like what you just described. What people would say about you and I'm saying well wait a minute. Is she wrong? What is she saying that you disagree with and how come you can't say you disagree with her and make your points? As to why, like she does, as opposed to just attacking her.
And:
42:26[SS]Because of your knowledge of politics, your obvious knowledge of the issues when you speak on these things, and you take such positions, particularly if it's antithetical or the antithesis of what the black community will point to. Do you think about it and do so on purpose because, dare I say, you're disgusted with us as a community for being hoodwinked by the Democratic Party? In your eyes is that possible?
[CO]So that's a very good question. And disgusted would not be the right term for it. Frustrated, yes. And constantly trying to give people the facts so that they understand that we — Lyndon Bane Johnson was an avowed racist and he hated us and yet we are doing everything that he wanted us to do. We are reacting emotionally and not rationally. We seem to be a stereotype of irrationality. Actually all we have to do is make them feel something and they [will] react. And I want to be clear it's not just black Americans. The metoo movement was another manifestation of that. You know that's why I'm doing this Harvey Weinstein series. But what really does upset me about the black community is the manner in which we defend criminals. You will not find this in any other community.
On Friday afternoon after I finished painting my friend’s tienda in time for him to begin opening ‘trials’ for friends starting on Monday, he made a new blend of coffee. Roasted with the meat of the coffee cherry as well as the bean. It was delicious, with hints of both fruit and chocolate. He talked about the challenges of trying new roasting ways and styles and he hopes 'that I won’t make something disgusting.’
‘Diego!’ I called out to him. ‘Why did you use the word ‘disgusting’?’ He looked at me. ‘Funny,’ he replied. ‘I don’t know. It’s not a word I use very often. I just don’t want to make anything that tastes so bad, I guess.’
Faustian Synchronicity: Did The Reaction Of The Democrat Congress To Trump As Near Zombies Reveal Themselves As Embodiments Of Mephistopheles?
By synchronicity a tiny piece of Goethe’s Faust came into my purview during the writing of this essay.
‘Call yourself a poet’. Music: Nadine Shah — Fool.
It is an an astoundingly accurate description and commentary on the possible demonic nature of the democratic congress’s reaction to Trump. Candace Owens, as a strong Catholic, has made frequent references to Hollywood and other structures within our partially secular world as being an expression of Satan and as Demonic. For example, last year, her critique was extended to the deepest roots of NASA. ‘The Shocking Satanic Origins of NASA | Candace Ep 18 (3 Jul 2024).
To what extent was the congressional democratic display nearly identical to what Goethe put in fiction? Or, OMG!, perhaps Goethe was, like the movie ‘the Matrix’, a coded documentary of his (and our?) time?! In 1806 did Goethe capture with prescient near perfection the nature of the democratic congress as the embodiment of Mephistopheles?
Mephistopheles:I am the spirit of perpetual negation;
And rightly so, for all things that exist
Deserve to perish, and would not be missed —
Much better it would be if nothing were
Brought into being. Thus, what you men call
Destruction, sin, evil in short, is all
My sphere, the element I most prefer.
—— Johann von Wolfgang Goethe, from Faust (1806).
[Good YouTube book review and summary’ Faust - Goethe Book Review.]
Well, That Was A Lot Of Disgust For an Early Thursday Morning and Beyond. Then Sunday Night Arose My Described Self-Disgust ‘Aha’. Now What? An Owens-Anima-Double Double Test
After writing that I had a few days to digest the Sunday night aha / reveal. I had spent much of the day in full write mode starting at about 3am Sunday morning. I interrupted myself only for my 8 Week Yama Yoga Life Skills Coaching client. And once the sun had set that Sunday night, after the aha, I again became deathly muscle and bone tired. I went to bed at 7:00pm and slept until 2:30am.
I continued to write this until shortly after the sun rose when I could hear my body gently directing me to go into El Centro. Really?On Friday I had committed to going to my friend at the hotel in order to teach her how to cast for the I Ching. After that I was to get help from my other friend in the new tienda for yoga / marma / life-coach marketing posters for my new office lease.
My body was insistent. Really? Yes. So into el centro I went. I thought that I would find space to do some writing there. It turned out that the break was an excellent one. At breakfast I met a software engineer digital nomad with whom I had a great conversation about purpose, the power of words, muscle testing, quantum entanglement’s connection to Gautama’s concept of dependent co-arising, etc.
Then I met with my friend for the I Ching casting lesson and we were joined by another engaged human. And I received oral confirmation that my audition at the hotel for becoming their second yoga instructor had got me the gig — or at least a multi-week trial — with them! I got some writing done in part because the marketing help was put off because my friend had become unexpectedly busy with clients and/or suppliers.
And during the last week, while all of this was happening, I had managed to write to my sister #2 with several back and forth emails to book a talk-time for us. The exchanges included my Candace Owens dream, Clearsight Method for eye-glass elimination, and disgust at my self for betraying the soul-contract I’d made in 1973 and my sister’s initial responses to all that. Tuesday morning we talked.
Sister #2 shared her recollection that Jordon Peterson has talked about disgust as a moral expression tied to purity. She supplied me a link to a scientific study Peterson references. (For a good short introduction to disgust as a powerful moralistic motivating force see Peterson’s ‘Disgust is a lot More Aggressive than Fear. I write more on that later. And in a tiny synchronicity, a few days later, my India-based friend told me that her sister in the USA, who does talk therapy, includes ‘disgust’ as an important and often overlooked emotion.)
Sister #2 also expressed some concern that Owens was likely an anima-projection that might be malevolent to me in some way. That my having broken my anima relation was perverting the veracity of my body’s responses to my questioning, especially around potential anima hooks like Owens.
She expressed, here, another form of a very common concern people have whenever I teach them muscle testing: ‘How can I know, for sure, that it isn’t justmy mind, or ego or some element of my unconscious that is overpowering my body and misleading me?’
As I wrote that I realised that these fears are accurately expressing perhaps the greatest psyop: that our bodies are weak, very weak and far weaker than our minds. Really? I have many experiences of my own and of others that contradict that! Perhaps its most powerful embodiment is that, despite being injected with scores of toxins from their their day birth, most infants and children do not die of SIDS or other diseases triggered by toxic injection. Truly amazing!
I haven’t responded in that way to that question very often. Few people are ready to listen to it, let alone to hear it, of course. So more often I answer with something like: ‘Pay attention to the synchronicities and use an alternative synchronicity tool, such as the I Ching, or Tarot, or the like, including bibles and spiritual texts. And be observant with how the quality of your life changes. Be actively curious and ask ‘What if…?’’
Insert Bodhidharma Synchronicity #1
Shortly before editing the above I heard a YouTube algorithm suggested Zen talk calling to me while I sought something audible to accompany me while doing the dishes. This is a part of it that I heard on ‘mind’ as the great deceiver — not the body!
The sutras say not to let go of wisdom is stupidity. When the mind doesn't exist, understanding and not understanding are both true. When the mind exists understanding and not understanding are both false.
When you understand, reality depends on you. When you don't understand, you depend on reality,
When reality depends on you, that which isn't real becomes real.
When you depend on reality, that which is real becomes false. When you depend on reality everything is false.
When reality depends on you, everything is true.
Thus the sage doesn't use their mind to look for reality, or reality to look for their mind. Or their mind to look for their mind, or reality to look for reality.
Their mind doesn't give rise to reality and reality doesn't give rise to their mind.
Shortly after finishing the essay, during which I reached awareness that I would remove ‘pure’ (purity) and ‘disgust’ (filth) from my vocabulary, I took a break and resumed the above Bodhidharma awakening sutra. No sooner did I begin listening while making coffee and doing the dishes, did I here several instances of ‘purity’ and ‘filth’. Really? So, now I find myself wanting to sassily essay on my disagreement with yet another untouchable icon of thought! LMAO. This time, to go beyond editing out ‘pure’ and ‘filth’ from this translation — I didn’t check other translations — and to suggest that within this text Bodhidharma actually contradicts himself by making the false distinction between filth and purity. Later in the text he argued that ‘Those who understand both speech and silence are in samadhi.’ Would not this principle be the same with ‘filth’ and ‘purity’?
Furthermore, in other places, is it not stated, metaphorically, that the lotus grows out of the mud? Or that it is shit that makes the corn grow? Both infer the basic unity of purity and filth.
Those who understand both filth and purity are in samadhi. — guy duperreault
Note: in the citation below, Bodhidharma refers to ‘the three poisons of the mind’. What are they? The few translations I looked at were something like
… greed, aggression, and ignorance – are fundamental mental states Buddhism identifies as the root causes of suffering and the obstacles to spiritual liberation. — Lion’s Roar.
or
… greed (raga, also translated as lust), hatred (dvesha, or anger), and delusion (moha, or ignorance). — Tricycle: Buddhism for Beginners.
I will be bold enough to say that these are ‘impure’ translations that allow an easier path into spiritual by-passing. They are in construction almost identical to how the first three of Patañjali’s five kleshas usually are translated. So, here are my own translations of the three poisons taken from my translations of Patañjali:
Avidya: to see as false that which is in experiential reality true; to see as true that which is in experiential reality false; to see as either true or false that which is inexperiential reality neutral. (The common translation, ‘ignorance’ — as in the above — imo, focuses on mind state or perhaps the mind states’ perception. That emphasis by language is what makes it misleading — truth is from bodily experience. ‘Problems of the mind cannot be solved at the level of the mind’ Sri Sri Ravi Shankar’.)
Raga: to obsessively seek pleasure in experience in order to calm the anxious fluctuations of the mind.
Dvesha: to obsessively avoid, repel or deny the discomforts in experience that exacerbate the anxious fluctuations of the mind.
Now, on to filth and purity and a Bodhidharma inconsistency and Buddhist synchronicity:
The buddha in the mind is like a fragrance in a tree.
The buddha comes from a mind free of suffering just as a fragrance comes from a tree.
Free of decay, there's no fragrance without the tree and no buddha without the mind.
If there's a fragrance without a tree it's a different fragrance,
If there's a buddha without your mind it's a different buddha.
When the three poisons are present in your mind you live in a land of filth.
When the three poisons are absent from your mind you live in a land of purity.
The sutras say if you fill a land with impurity and filth no buddha will ever appear.
Impurity and filth refer to the three poisons and the other poisons.
Buddha refers to a pure and an awakened mind.
There's no language that isn't the dharma.
To talk all day without saying anything is the way.
To be silent all day and still say something isn't the way,
Hence neither does a targeted speech depend on silence
Nor does their speech depend on speech.
Nor does their speech exist apart from their silence.
Those who understand both speech and silence are in samadhi.
—Bodhidharma - "The Wake Up Sermon" - First Zen Patriarch - Zen Buddhism ~31:18
End Bodhidharma synchronicity #2.
Back to Sister #2 with Respect and to Question My Self
I respect my sister’s own extensive and deep healing journey, and for the extended time that she has been attending the cabal’s de-individuating, de-populating and group-think globalising operations. And so this felt like a good time to ‘test’ my body and how my unconscious anima / soul relationship with Owens might be messing with me, my body and the embodied stories of ‘I’, ‘me’ and ‘mine’ that I am not seeing.
So I began with a muscle test. My ostensibly unbiased body-self asserted that my anima wasn’t distorting my body’s ability to speak truthfully. Of course, can I trust that?! Next steps: attend the synchronicities and do an I Ching casting. I completed the casting early Tuesday morning before my conversation with sister #2. And the synchronicities blew up, only a few of which I’ve documented here, above and below.
Candace Owens Anima Projection Check: The I Ching Q&A in Full Detail
Hola, Sage, Duke of Chou, King Wen, and the morphic resonance energy of theI Ching. I am here, this morning, with sun shining in through the open door. It is about 7:30 in the morning. The air is fresh and nicely crisp. Last week began a deep dive into the presence of eyeglasses as an embodiment of truths of life and/or of self unseen. On Wednesday I experienced disgust and, after not seeing that I had initially been projecting it onto someone who really did say something disgusting, I realised it was my disgust towards myself that had been triggering by the disgusting event. And then I further realised, on Sunday, that that disgust was at my twelve year old self having betrayed my soul / anima to my best friend and then as reaction against my mother. The intensity of that disgust had been exasperated by the super strong fierceness I have to honouring contracts and oaths when I knew I had betrayed my soul-contract to make that pre-pubescent blood and spit death pledge. I knew that I would honour it until I was dead. Fortunately, or not, I didn’t die and I began to recant the oath, unconsciously, in 2013-4. That was when I met a young woman on-line who became a friend, then soul-contract friend and then soul-mate / soul-contract lover.
At the same time, perhaps on the same day of my ClearsightMethod course’s lesson on the emotional component of wearing eyeglasses — which the teacher de Federico claims is the most important part — I had a dream of sensual, not sexual, naked intimacy with the controversial truth-seeking on-line journalist Candace Owens. When I shared this dream with my sister she wondered if my muscle testing process has been tricked by a kind of malevolent anima energy spirit. In later email exchanges sister #2 has expressed her dismissal of Owens for being a shock journalist who has a questionable downstream purpose.
I have done some muscle testing around this. And the question isn’t new to me because almost always when I introduce muscle testing to people they ask ‘how can I know that my feeling-reaction isn’t just my mind twisting my body?’ And my sister’s husband also dismisses my practice because, in his opinion, that could easily be something that is undermined by the presence of entities. (I’ve tested in different ways about entities and it seems, rightly or wrongly in my perception, that they are not a problem with me at this time.)
The other part of my ’testing’ of the accuracy or validity of my perception of my muscle testing is largely looking for confirmation and/or refutation of it with synchronistic events. And more recently to see when, with significant realisations or changes, there have been tangible experiential and/or somatic changes in my state of being. So, my latest realisation around the old black earth princess dream [which I’ve discussed briefly in
When Gautama Woke Up Was His First Thought ‘OMG! Where Am I Now?’ Or ‘Who Are You, Really?]
And with the Candace Owens dream, and things like discovering the lie of the Apollo moon landing, I feel my body-energy and connection to life change, usually noticeably for the better. The latest exploration has had me crashing in unusual tiredness and my right hip’s pain reaching a cry-invoking exquisite crescendo. So, what happened after my realisation on Sunday was that the next day walking was almost pain free. And, without glasses, I had a richly profound feeling of freedom and spaciousness I’ve not felt without glasses before. Before that I’ve felt the world pressing in on me, anxious and concerned about my footing. And I could see the eyes of my friend during our conversation — without glasses. Fuzzy, but seen. And my sense of seeing her was at a way more profound and connected level. And life was much more three-dimensional than I remember experiencing it before.
So… I Ching. I am here to seek your thoughts, opinion, on my relationship and/or opinion on Candace Owens and her place in my life at this time. To go straight to sister #2’s question, have I projected onto Owens some aspect of my own anima that I’m not seeing? And that that projection has distorted my ability to have accurate muscle testing responses? (The inference is the opposite: that while Owens does represent some part of my anima, at this time it is not an unconscious projection that is distorting my ability to see and/or understand the truth of my situation through muscle testing.) Hmmmm. How to put this: I will put this in a positive way. I Ching, is my perception and body testing of Owens as an embodiment of my own truth-seeking and anima accurate and that this embodiment is having a neutral or positive effect with my energetic connection with the truth of my body?
’For me, this gave a very clear statement that I am not being split by anima projection, rather that we are working together.’ Music: Three Dog Night — Black and White.
59. Huan / Dispersion [Dissolution] (with the Baynes/Wilhelm translation)
… when someone’s vital energy is dammed up within him/her (indicated as a danger by the attribute of the lower trigram), gentleness serves to break up and dissolve the blockage. [The gentle sensual nature of the Owens dream and, oddly enough, how gently the earth princess arose from the land and (omg!) dissolved the molasses that was blocking my movement. Hmmm. I wonder, now, was that dream gently telling me that despite my abhorrence and disgust that I had betrayed her, my anima / soul, she rose up gently to show she remained steadfast with me, that she hadn’t broken our mutual soul-contract? Hmmmm. I have always felt that that dream was confirmation of something, an earth goddess more than soul or anima, being with me. The blockage refers to the blocked energy against my feeling of disgust that created the tension that stopped my eyes from seeing truth of me (and the world) and in recent years may have been the source of my hypocrisy (hip) pain.]
THE JUDGMENTDispersion. Success.
The king approaches his temple. [Religious centre, house of the soul.]
It furthers one to cross the great water. [Piers Morgan and George Farmer, Owens's husband, are both Brits, over the great water.]
Perseverance furthers. [Yes, I stayed with Owens despite early misgivings.]
The text of this hexagram resembles that of Ts’ui, Gathering Together (45). In the latter, the subject is the bringing together of elements that have been separated, as water collects in lakes upon the earth. Here the subject is the dispersing and dissolving of divisive egotism. [Again, pointing to a removal of divisiveness / division, not the creation or extension of it.] Dispersion shows the way, so to speak, that leads to gathering together. This explains the similarity of the two texts.
Religious forces [in my case integration and expression of anima / spirit(ual) energy] are what have the energy to overcome the egotism that divides people. The common celebration of the great sacrificial feasts and sacred rites, [the egotist basis of the spit-blood oath and the sacred nature I felt with the earth goddess/princess and the sensual sacredness I felt in the Owens dream] which gave expression simultaneously to the interrelation and social articulation of family and state, was the means employed by the great rulers to unite people. The sacred music [love my playlists] and the splendour of the ceremonies aroused a strong tide of emotion that was shared by all hearts in unison, and that awakened a consciousness of the common origin of all creatures. In this way disunity was overcome and rigidity dissolved. A further means to the same end is co-operation in great general undertakings that set a high goal for the will of the people [my shared desire with Owens for truth as the common undertaking that will set us free]; in the common concentration on this goal, all barriers dissolve, just as, when a boat is crossing a great stream, all hands naturally unite in a joint task.Only someone who is internally in heart, mind, spirit free of all selfish ulterior considerations, and who perseveres in justice and steadfastness, is capable of so dissolving the hardness of egotism (p227-8).
THE IMAGEThe wind drives over the water:
The image of dispersion.
Thus the kings of old sacrificed to the Lord
And built temples.
In the autumn and winter, water begins to freeze into ice. When the warm breezes of spring come, the rigidity is dissolved, and the elements that have been dispersed in ice floes are reunited. It is the same with the minds of the people. Through hardness and selfishness the heart grows rigid, and this rigidity leads to separation from all others. Egotism and cupidity isolate people. Therefore the freeing of the hearts of people is to give, express and honour a devout emotion. It is when they are shaken by true religious awe in the face of eternity — stirred with an intuition of the One Creator of all living beings, that they unite through the strong feeling of kinship experienced in the ritual of divine worship. [Funny, at this time Owens is being vilified for her devotion to Christ as king and her occasional use of ‘Christ is King’ as an anti-semitic weapon. See ‘I’m “Just Asking Questions” About The Daily Wire | Candace Ep 159’.]
THE LINES
…
° Nine in the fifth place means:The leader's loud cries are as dissolving as sweat.
Dissolution! A king abides without blame. ['Christ is King' being blamed for anti-semitism?]
In times of general dispersion and separation, a great idea provides a focal point for the organisation of recovery. Just as an illness reaches its crisis in a dissolving sweat, so a great and stimulating idea is a true salvation in times of general deadlock. It gives the people a rallying point—someone in a ruling position who can dispel misunderstandings.
Nine at the top means:The leader dissolves his/her blood.
Departing, keeping at a distance, going out,
Is without blame. [The blood of Christ as unifying healing agent?]
The idea of the dissolving of a the leader’s blood means the dispersion of that which might lead to bloodshed and wounds, i.e., avoidance of danger. But here the thought is not that someone avoids difficulties for him/her self alone, but rather that s/he rescues his/her kin — helps them to get away before danger comes, or to keep at a distance from an existing danger, or to find a way out of a danger that is already upon them. In this way the leader does what is right (p228).
The casting continued with:
7. Shih / The Army
… symbolises the ground water stored up in the earth. In the same way military strength is stored up in the mass of the people - invisible in times of peace yet always ready for use as a source of power. The attributes of the two trigrams are danger inside and obedience outside. This points to the nature of an army, which at the core is dangerous, while discipline and obedience are what prevail outside.
…
THE JUDGEMENT
The army. The army thrives with perseverance
And a strong leader.
Good fortune without blame.
AN ARMY is a collection of people that who are skilfully organised with discipline in order to become a fighting force.
Without strict discipline nothing can be accomplished, but this discipline is not to be achieved by force. It arises naturally in the presence of a strong person who captures the hearts of the people and awakens their enthusiasm. In order that s/he may develop his/her abilities s/he has the complete confidence of his/her ruler, who confidently entrusts him/her with full responsibility as long as the war lasts. War is always a dangerous thing that brings with it destruction and devastation. Therefore it is not to be resorted to rashly. Rather, like a poisonous drug, war is to be used as a very last last recourse.
The justifying cause of a war, and clear and intelligible war aims, are to be made fully and unambiguously clear to the people by an experienced and capable leader. Unless there is a definite war aim to which the people can consciously pledge themselves, the unity and strength of conviction that lead to victory will not be forthcoming. The great leader also is able to look to it that the passion of war and the delirium of victory do not give rise to unjust acts that will fail to meet with general approval. If justice and perseverance are the basis of action, all goes well.
THE IMAGE
In the middle of the earth is water:
The image of THE ARMY.
Thus the superior person becomes increasingly popular
With generosity toward the people.
GROUND WATERis invisibly present within the earth. [My earth princess / goddess arose out from the earth.] In the same way the military power of a people is invisibly present in the masses. When danger threatens, every peasant becomes a soldier; when the war ends, the peasant returns to the plow. The leader who is generous toward the people wins their love, and a people living under a mild rule becomes strong and powerful. Only a people economically strong can be important in military power. Such power is to be cultivated by improving the economic condition of the people and by humane government. Only when there is this invisible bond between government and people, so that the people are sheltered by their government as ground water is sheltered by the earth, is it possible to wage a victorious war.
End of casting result.
My Summary: This is suggesting that rather than there being a split or an expansion of separation between anima and body, body and soul, I am moving together and that is giving me the strength to become a leader in times of danger by bringing people together with the proper energy / spirit. And so it is that I have been going into El Centro and opening a yoga class and a yoga shop, a form, for me, of ‘crossing the great water’ because both of these actions are a trust-fall into something new to me in this universe. And if you disagree, please comment with your best argument — this is how I can be challenged to grow my strength and resilience into truth seer and teller!
A Tarot Reading - Three of Wands Reversed
Two days after the I Ching casting and after talking with Sister #2, I participated in a Tarot Card reading which gave me the Three of Wands Reversed — the first time she had turned that card. The deck she used showed a man looking towards a distant house from a hill. In front of him a serpentine golden road was to take him home. Beside him three saplings were growing. The reversal suggested that it wasn’t time to return home and to continue the exploration. This is ambivalent to me, suggesting either that I was still lacking congruence or that my direction to continue working with the world is appropriate. The Rider Waite deck imagery had a significant overlap / confluence with the I Ching casting, with the specific inclusion of the protagonist standing looking out over a great river. The protagonist is communicating well with the world, as boats are going out and returning safely. The reversal is once again ambivalent, though, suggesting that the protagonist hasn’t completed the internal journal well enough to be fully engaged in complete communication. Does that mean that my muscle testing is compromised, as Sister #2 suggested was possible? Or perhaps it is that my reconnection to the ground water of life, the earth goddess princess, is not quite complete? Both? LoL!
Somehow this both connects with and contradicts the I Ching casting! LoL! Okay! I continue to be curious about the state of my body-testing communication. I continue to keep my eyes open and my mind empty! I took that curiosity and extended it to my asking a friend who is learning muscle-testing for his take on my body communication. And his results echoed the apparent conflict between the I Ching and the Tarot perfectly! That on the one hand it is sound and correct and that I wasn’t seeing it correctly. So, my body communication is accurate and it might be the quality of my questions and/or the perception of the answers that is creating avidya? I stood up and determined that, per my body, I’m communicating well with my body. The communication challenge is that I have more of that spit-blood-oath to remove as it is hindering my communication with my anima / soul.
Introduction to the Morality of Disgust and a Circle Back to the Deserving / Undeserving Divide as Scapegoat Killers
My sister ‘synchronistically’ connected me to Peterson’s disgust discussion. I had forgotten it! A sign of my unconscious having deflected it away from myself, maybe, because it is a powerful argument. Yet, after my flood of disgust, what is ‘the morality of disgust' and what place does it have in expanding suffering or even creating the killing fields? I begin by revisiting my conception of the importance of a socially sanctioned undeserving/deserving divide as the source of increased suffering.
In various essays and conversations I’ve argued that it is the practice of separating people by being more or less deserving than each other that creates one of the most powerful societal schisms. More recently I’ve understood that the function or mechanism used by the society to easily create the deserving / underserving split is morality. Morality is the egoistic tool that condones and even encourages people to rationalise away compassion and to extoll the expansion of suffering and death as a necessary good. And, since my initial forays into this ‘class’ division, that morality is the golden road that exults in the death of the undeserving, I have recently concluded that the sole purpose of ‘morality’ is to rationalise away compassion. (Was that what Luther’s anti-reason rants were about?)
‘Aren’t morals a good thing?’ is the argument, because ‘without them we would be uncivilised beasts destroying each other.’ [Headshake.] With a few thousand years of morals not having significantly halted moralised wars, pograms, purges, expulsions, and tortures and killings of men, women, children, infants of all races, creeds, and religions, across the world, it seems to me that that experiment has been tried and has been at best found wanting.
The perceived fix of doubling down on mostly religious promulgated morality is a current trope of what many religious traditionalists advocate, and which young secularists are looking to, as the optimal fight-path in this more clearly seen apocalyptic conflict against the necromongers. However, it is important to consider that the necromongers themselves also use morality to rationalise away compassion in order to amass all wealth and to clear the planet of useless meat-eaters. Is that the fight. then? To find out who is going to be able to out moralise each other’s compassion?! Crazy.
In this conflict, the necromongers are, of course, infinitesimally smaller in number than the useless meateaters destroying the planet. And it is interesting that those opposed to the necromongers have often used the logic of that population disparity in a logical effort to rally the masses — to no avail! As the time of the great convid has clearly demonstrated, logic and reason were of absolutely no avail against the virtue signalling moralisers who separated the society into the deserving (injected) and the undeserving (uninjected) — with hidden and not so-hidden threats of imprisonment and death to the latter. All actions well managed by the few using rationalised morality to organise the militarised anthropocide.
And from the yogic perspective morals are not good. Why not? Because they are temporary and bend and blow with the wind: the underling WEFfers likely consider themselves to be agents of a moral good by unifying the world and stopping climate change. They have applied moral logic to those arguments and thus without compassion easily use their morality to separate the society into ‘with us (deserving) or agents of death (undeserving)’. Their logic, their morality, is as valid as the religious moral good that demands the conversion of non-believers and sinners to God, metoo respect to women as if they were better-humans-than-men who never lie, or any other -ism of past and present.
By yogic definition temporary things are not ever good because of our inability to see temporary as temporary nor to see that any structure built on something temporary expands suffering.
collage de murales de oaxaca. the impermanence of things. musica: the b-52’s — the world’s green laughter.
The morality of the day is simply a communally accepted egoist story of ‘I’, ‘me’ and ‘mine’ that easily falls into self-serving moral arguments that are shored up by, and shore up, vacuous temporary narcissistic narratives as if they were permanent and true. And those moral fixations often demand that the community remove the truth of experiences in a lived life that begins, rests, and ends in our bodies. Morality is the rationalised justification to expand suffering by pretending that the immorality of something or someone over there is the temporary cause of our discomfort and that eliminating that scapegoated source will permanently remove the discomfort.
And yet, is this argument really sufficient to explain the tortures, killings and slaughters across the ages? How to get the morally deserving to make the leap to kill the morally undeserving? (Besides copious supplies of alcohol, I mean, one of the important ingredients in armies.) Mattias Desmet made the argument for Mass Formation. I argued that Mass Formation is the action of the deserving killing the undeserving and that the idea of mass formation is not in itself sufficient to explain its arising. I argue that obedience to authority is a societal prerequisite before mass formation can be triggered. Mass formation doesn’t explain where obedience to authority comes from.
Mass formation, as well as being rooted in the cultural substrate of obedience to authority, does not get activated without being pointed towards someone or a group by someone from the morally good domain. And that is where the deserving and undeserving designations come in: we easily kill the undeserving as soon as they become sufficiently undeserving. See my series on Obedience to Authority, beginning with:
On 'Mass Formation', Woke and Corporatist News: Saviour from What? Nov 27, 2022.
I now suspect that this argument does not address how to make someone, or a group, sufficiently undeserving. Ahhhhh. To the rescue, the morality of disgust.
To Close with A Jordon Peterson Supplied Look at the Morality of Disgust and the Deserving / Undeserving Divide
Disgust! That is the moralist’s gold. Disgust, as argued by Peterson, is a powerful constellating agent of a sanctified morality that has the power to gel moralising-formation sufficiently for it to become mass formation as the social good that demands the killing of the disgusting undeserving.
[JP] [There is a very strong correlation between the presence of infectious diseases and the promulgation of authoritarian structures.] We saw that during covid, right, with instantaneous transformation into something approximating authoritarianism. And the motivational justification, what's so interesting and horrible about this, by the way, is that that's not a fear-based motivation: it's a disgust-based motivation.
And disgust is a lot more aggressive than fear because, if you're afraid of something you tend to avoid it, whereas if you're disgusted by something your fundamental motivation is to eradicate it by any means necessary. If you look, for example, at the language that Hitler and his minions used when they were ramping up their public health pathology, prevention pathology, to extend out of the mental asylums in the hospitals into more broad ethnic cleansing, all the language they used was parasitism, disgust [and] contamination. All diseases…Yeah so [disgust is] a very powerful motivational system when it gets activated. Absolutely. No question. (‘The Marxist Slide from Liberalism | Naomi Wolf | EP 351’ 24 Apr 2023, ~41:16.)
Morality-formation is thus the rationalised good of the suffering and death of another as undeserving by being a dehumanised source of disgust.
In line with Peterson’s disgust observation, although I hadn’t thought of it in this way before, I see that the morality of disgust works as an energising agent of aggression, much like alcohol. Both have the power to disengages us from that part of our consciousness that is able to distinguish between ‘altruistically’ or angrily killing the disgusting other. (Arjuna, in the Bhagavad-Gita, was instructed by Krishna on the yogic path to kill altruistically.)
Morality-formation attaches itself to disgust and with its good morals rationalises deservedness instead of keeping space in our consciousness to see whether or not we are seeing as true that which is true. (Again, a core part of the Bhagavad-Gita is the yogic path of seeing as true what is true.) Perhaps our aggressive feelings of moral rectitude and/or disgust are in actuality our having been triggered by a disgust of a filth that originates from within? That our disgust is the beam in our own eyes, that for whatever reason, we have been unconscious of and blind to. (Topic for another essay: to what extend is the Christian idea of being born into original sin a perpetuator of unseen inner filth/disgust? Is it possible that an intention of the idea of original sin is to create a path towards becoming aware of where we are, in ourselves, harbouring unseen, the poisons of the mind that disgust us? Can we be sure that we have cleared the darts, daggers and axes shaping the beam in our own eye before killing the other for the motes in theirs?)
And, like I have argued about deservedness and undeservedness, the morality of purity automatically creates the morality of disgust: the one does not exist without the other. (This is cited and detailed in the ‘disgust’ article I cite below.) They are, like black and white, in that purity and disgust are conjoined twins, alive together. For this reason I have proposed that, because words are the spells by which we create the world, let us stop using ‘deserving’ and ‘undeserving’. Simply remove them from our lexicon. See
Unseen, We Live Bully Stockholm Syndrome And Other Oddities of Being Alive in a Miss-Spelled See of Words.
Hmmmm. It is interesting to consider that a powerful factor in the pre WWII German psychology of eugenics was the demand to create a pureAryan race by occult-magic and the purging from the planet the disgusting undeserving.
I now see that ‘purity’ and perhaps also ‘pure’ are also to be removed from my lexicon. Although these are both words I rarely used — of course, I didn’t want to see the disgust resting uncomfortably inside of me, paining my hip and impeding open eye function.
And I have for a very long time been highly suspicious of anything described as ‘pure’. Purity has seemed antithetical to the reality of being authentically alive in the mud of life. And I had become aware that the ‘pure’ refined things were often dangerous poisons and/or required a poisoning process to make them.
Last Minute, on the Day of Posting, Big Bang Pre-Post Synchronicity: Sex Trafficked Woman on the Importance of Removing the Energy of Undeservedness (My Paraphrase)
This synchronicity was big enough that I didn’t hesitate to delay my deadline post to update this essay. It is complex, so the lead up to it’s punch-line rests in several acausal steps.
This morning, after finishing the final draft and first read through into the audio recording, a friend in India sent to me a link to a video:
Subject: something i haven't listen to yet: discussion on "Will AI ever be conscious?" Music: Macy Gray — Nothing Else Matters.
The terse message:
someone on NAAS (new and ancient story of Charles Eisenstein) says it's the best thing on AI they ever saw. Vandana Shiva is in the audience as seems to have a part in it as she is included in "who" is in it....
The speaker is Iain McGilchrist. This is interesting to me, although I have this essay to complete. I saved it to ‘Watch Later’. Then I chose to give space for my curious eyes to be drawn down the algorithm’s feeds and two caught my eye. First was 'co-creating reality' with McGilchrist again.
Music: Echo Collective, Margaret Hermant — The See Within.
This is a theme common to my dialogues and writings as it aligns with energetic principles grounding muscle testing and Gautama’s idea of dependent co-arising. And, in a tiny synchronicity, it is at the root of the Bodhidharma 'Wake Up, Sutra #9'. included in this essay. I skipped past this particular talk because of this essay and my self-intentioned deadline. And yet, despite that ‘deadline’, was curious to see what else might be in this feed and found a second one that successfully ‘hooked’ me this time.
‘What I Learned About Men, Love And Loneliness While Being Sex Trafficked.’ Music: Rage Against the Machine — Wake Up.
The original much smaller thumbnail, not the one above, had slightly misled me because the word 'trafficked' wasn't present. Although once I saw the full page the subject did indeed interest me — I’ve written about these kinds of sexual violations in this substack. For example on my having been, possibly, sexually abused and on Aflred Kinsey’s organised child and infant rape studies as scientific inquiry in
Freud and Kinsey are Dead! I’ll Manga¶ Out the Inflated Penis’s Envy of Edie’s Puss.
Anyway, I thought I’d add it to the 'watch later' list — although the rates of the new stuff flowing in has kept me from looking at that list very often. For some obscure-to-me reason I chose to check the comments section before I did those few clicks to save it. And this really caught my eye!
"If we don't stop seeing each other as disposable, we'll build a world where none of us matter." That hit the deepest for me and describes several painful issues I've faced for the last few years. Thank you for this video.
And that is the synchronicity! In her own language this young woman is pointing out that until we collectively stop energising deserving / undeserving we won’t stop creating disposable people. So I opened the transcript to find the full context of the quotation, and it is even stronger:
I'm just someone who's been hurt trying to understand why we keep hurting each other. Why, you know, my own choices, my own decisions or even my own decisions that were not really mine to make. Um, but there's one thing I know. It's this if we don't stop seeing each other as disposable we'll build a world where none of us matter because, at the end of the day, we can't blame the robots. We can't blame only fans. We can't blame porn. We can't blame trafficking. We can't blame escorts. We build them. We, we keep all of this stuff going. (‘What I Learned About Men, Love And Loneliness While Being Sex Trafficked’13:39.)
Yes! My exact same argument. This links back to McGilchrist’s video where he, in the thumbnail, states that we are co-creating this reality. And it synchronistically connects to my recent discussion with the Swiss women that I included in this essay because of its synchronistic connection to this current exploration — her recent discovery that our words are the spells by which we individually and co-operatively create / co-create this world! And on being seen, which is part of the sex-trafficker's argument.
Wow, what a complexly interwoven world wide synchronicity. As Gautama also stated, karma is dependent co-arising. Synchronicity is the normal expression of that principle. How can it be otherwise?
Exit Synchronicity and Return to Peterson’s Disgust Discussion with Naomi Wolf
It is clear to me that Peterson’s citation that affirms that the morality of purity energises the morality of disgust — my paraphrase — is exactly what has the energy to create things like sex trafficking, mass formation and plandemics with weaponised injections.
And for disgusting completeness, here is the introductory remarks to the paper’ Disgust and the Moralisation of Purity’ by E. J. Horberg, Christopher Oveis, Dacher Keltner, and Adam B. Cohen.
Until recently, morality scholars often assumed that moral judgments — of an action as right or wrong, of a person’s character as good or evil—are founded upon higher order cognitive processes. The individual, in making a moral judgment, was presumed to consciously apply a priori principles, such as beliefs about equality or rights.
A different view of moral judgment has emerged over the past two decades (Damasio, 1994; Greene & Haidt, 2002; Haidt, 2001, 2007). This view highlights how emotions feed into intuitions, or fast, automatic hunches of right and wrong that figure prominently in moral judgments. Empirical evidence of precise emotion-to-moral-judgment associations is scarce, however, and some have argued that emotions may exert little, if any, direct influence upon moral judgment (Huebner, Dwyer, & Hauser, 2009).
The present research contributes new theory and evidence of the way emotions act upon moral judgment. Across three studies, we investigate the link between the emotion of disgust and purity, a moral domain broadly oriented toward preserving the sanctity of the body and mind. Our three studies are guided by the claim that distinct emotions can amplify the importance of different moral domains during moral judgments, a process known as moralisation (Rozin, 1997, 1999). The first study focuses on integral emotion and how disgust but not anger relates to amplified moral judgments of purity violations but not of justice violations. Our second study focuses on incidental emotion and how disgust, but not sadness, elicited by an earlier cause influences judgments of purity-related violations, as well as virtues, that are unrelated to the cause of the emotion. Our third study focuses on trait disgust by documenting how elevated levels of trait disgust, but not trait anger or fear, link to stronger judgments of purity-related violations and virtues but not violations or virtues related to harm or care giving. Taken together, these three studies show that disgust, but not other negative emotions, relates to and causes the moralisation of purity but not the moralisation of other domains.
And now, with this awareness, this new awakening to being blinded by my own disgust, and to the disgust of morality and the morality of disgust, I have begun the process of removing ‘purity’ and ‘disgust’ and even ‘filth’ from my lexicon and body.
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In July of 2024 I had unexpected pacemaker surgery that cleaned out my savings.
I requested donations to help me through the pinch. I had anticipated that my immediate threat of insolvency would be cleared before the end of the year. That did not happen as my residency status is continuing to protract seemingly interminably and I am legally disallowed from working until that is confirmed officially.
If you are in a position to help and would like to, you can check out the details of that in
Once my yoga based trauma recovery centre is given the green light, with confirmation of my residency, I anticipate the pressure for immediate financial help will disappear. As the situation changes I update my requirements. At this time, I have received more than 1/3 of what I anticipated is required. So if you are curious and would like to help me, please consider my request for donations and give an amount that gives you joy. I appreciate and am grateful for your consideration of me in this time of the war of the great convid, the great unveiling, the opportunity we have to face the truth of our time with the calmness inspired by the Bhagavad-Gita.
All the best with what is changing. Everything changes! With peace, respect, love and exuberant enthusiasm, in the time of the Bhagavad-Gita married to the Great Apocalypse.
